Superpoop: 2014
Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

12-31-07: construction company

Married To The Sea comic: construction company * Text: 

Hey!


Construction company here. You ordered some sprawl?

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12-30-07: clone is ready

Married To The Sea comic: clone is ready * Text: 

Your clone is ready, Mrs. Clark. Make sure you feed her at least five times a day, or we'll have to make you a new one from scratch.

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12-29-07: old phone

Married To The Sea comic: old phone * Text: 

Mom! Look what I found in the basement! What is it?


It's just an old phone.


Sweet. How do I get to the MP3s?

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12-28-07: number two train

Married To The Sea comic: number two train * Text: 

Take the #2 train at 8am every morning.


You can get a ticket...for the price of a cup of coffee.

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12-27-07: swing by

Married To The Sea comic: swing by * Text: 

We meet again, Henry! I thought I'd swing by and ax you a question.

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12-26-07: pulled over in canada

Married To The Sea comic: pulled over in canada * Text: 

Sir, can you please step out of your car? I pulled you over for failing to wave

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12-25-07: my girlfriend

Married To The Sea comic: my girlfriend * Text: 

Although Randall found actual human interaction tedious, he often spent long nights perfecting features on

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12-24-07: intelligent design answers questions about biology

Married To The Sea comic: intelligent design answers questions about biology * Text: 

Why is this tree so much taller than the others?


God's will.


That doesn't-


God's will.


... Okay. Well, are you about ready to go home?


God's will.

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12-23-07: memulonimbus

Married To The Sea comic: memulonimbus * Text: 

Ernesto! Is that the ocean down there?


Dear me, no! Those are memulonimbus clouds, which puts us at an elevation of roughly two million feet above sea level.

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12-22-07: unarmored jeep

Married To The Sea comic: unarmored jeep * Text: 

Well, okay...I'll patrol Baghdad for three years in an unarmored jeep. Is there any way y'all can ruin the national budget in the meantime so I won't be able to go to college if I come back?

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12-21-07: swashbuckling

Married To The Sea comic: swashbuckling * Text: 

Mon dieu! Gerald! Look at that man.


Sacrebleu! Where is his sword? Does he not know that the swashbuckling begins in an hour?

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12-20-07: stock trade

Married To The Sea comic: stock trade * Text: 

I wonder why the glasses are shaped like funnels.


Then, when the options are overpriced by a reasonable margin, I purchase the stock and sell the option. I hit twenty-three hundred conversions today. Over half were reversals. These days you don't see any of those. Of course, with the new automated system, the option has seen an unprecedented

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12-19-07: waffle iron

Married To The Sea comic: waffle iron * Text: 

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...I'd like to bring your attention to Exhibit A. This waffle iron clearly emits the same sound as an electronic alarm clock, and could easily be con--god damn it, I'm having another lawyer dream.

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12-18-07: gold to mine

Married To The Sea comic: gold to mine * Text: 

I can't believe we're going to all this trouble just to talk to people in San Francisco. Don't they have some gold to mine?

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12-17-07: stairs around here

Married To The Sea comic: stairs around here * Text: 

Excuse me...


Exc- Hey! Guy! Yes, you! Do you know if there are any stairs around here?

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12-16-07: professional drinker

Married To The Sea comic: professional drinker * Text: 

Nothing for a professional drinker. Yet again. I'm starting to feel like my career in indie-rock was a dead end.

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12-15-07: flat world

Married To The Sea comic: flat world * Text: 

You moron! The entire world isn't flat. Only the bottom is.

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12-14-07: white out copy and destroy the original

Married To The Sea comic: white out copy and destroy the original * Text: 

Good afternoon, Tony! I wasn't expecting you until a bit later - let me finish forging this OSHA documentation and I'll be with you in a minute.

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12-13-07: six car pileup

Married To The Sea comic: six car pileup * Text: 

Oh, come on, Ted. One little six-car pile-up, and now you can't walk at all? Pick up the pace. I gotta leave here early today if I want to beat traffic.

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12-12-07: catch a cork

Married To The Sea comic: catch a cork * Text: 

Catch the cork...before it catches you!


The gaming craze that paralyzed New York and brought Philadelphia to a standstill is now here. Catch-A-Cork requires no tinctures or scrubbing, and will provide hours of fun for married or unmarried men and women


Ages 12+


Available wherever corks are sold.

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12-11-07: judge comics

Married To The Sea comic: judge comics * Text: 

JUDGE


We will now recess until tomorrow morning. Bailiff, please examine these cartoons I drew of the plaintiff and three of the twelve jury members.

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12-10-07: the wood age

Married To The Sea comic: the wood age * Text: 

Hey, Benjamin...you ever thought maybe we could build stuff out of something other than wood?

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12-09-07: learn to walk

Married To The Sea comic: learn to walk * Text: 

Now put your other foot down...perfect! You can walk!


You're going to need a lot of practice. Do a couple laps around the living room, and when you're done, I'll let you go to the store and pick up a few things.

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12-08-07: losing the mail so you dont have to

Married To The Sea comic: losing the mail so you dont have to * Text: 

Credit card offer...deliver.


Coupon pack...deliver.


Local Advertising...deliver.


Catalogs...deliver.


Phone, electricity, gas bills...deliver to the mean old lady up the street.

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12-07-07: wizard needs food

Married To The Sea comic: wizard needs food * Text: 

Wizard needs food!


Yeah, don't we all?


Wizard needs food...badly!


Well, I think Wizard needs to get a fuckin' job. How about that?

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12-06-07: library timeline

Married To The Sea comic: library timeline * Text: 

Library timeline


Invented


Used by people researching information


Used by homeless men as an Internet-enabled jerkoff spot

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12-05-07: leak into the basement

Married To The Sea comic: leak into the basement * Text: 

Hey, man. Do you think it's cool if I leak through the floor into the basement?


What? Dude...I've been leaking into the basement for years. Of course you can.

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12-04-07: aqua dots

Married To The Sea comic: aqua dots * Text: 

You've been a good, hard-working wife for ten years now, Yvette...and for our anniversary, I had my brother import some Aqua Dots as a special treat. They're at the bottom of your cup. Cheers!

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12-03-07: midnight comic

Married To The Sea comic: midnight comic * Text: 

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!


It's midnight! Time for a new Married To The Sea comic!


12:00


Shit. This one is about me.

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12-02-07: blackwater receipts

Married To The Sea comic: blackwater receipts * Text: 

Hey, Donald. I was calling because I've been going through the year's receipts, and everything from Blackwater has been torn out. I can still see the edges on a few of them. Do you know where they are?


Oh, yeah. I grabbed those a while back. I've got them in storage here.

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12-01-07: unit three to base

Married To The Sea comic: unit three to base * Text: 

Unit three to base, do you copy? Unit three to base. There's some kinda smart-ass up here, pasting graph paper to the wall.


No, he does not look like a nerd. Over.

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec