archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
For the last time! It's not a hat. It's my ghetto crown. Okay. Your ghetto crown needs tightening. Can I have some of your hot chocolate? I'm not drinking hot chocolate! It's ghetto, uh...ghetto soup.
Seriously, where are you from? ...what? Well, no, you're not from National Geographic, unless you came all the way out here to make a map of where the titties are.
To whom it may concern, I do not understand today's comic strip on marriedtothesea.com. Sincerely,
Isn't that uncomfortable? Misn't mat mun munftable?
Come on, Jacob. It's not that bad. Would you rather have shitty beer...or beer shits?
Do I go fishing with my dad? What do--Oh. Yeah, good one, Chief. I'm the masturbator. When I go fishing with my dad, I bait the hook. Some might call me a master baiter. That was so hilarious I just shed a single tear. Wait...no, I didn't.
Well, this is a solo ball. I have to eat this one myself. Maybe when you're older we'll cook an assisted ball, and I'll help you eat it.
Standards of Decency X: Light Foreplay. "Underwear rule" applies. < 3 minutes of tongue. XX: Party Leprechaun. XXX: Extreme foreplay. No underwear rule. Visible penetration(s). XXXX: 2 Party Leprechauns.
Yes, it is quite a lovely bottle, isn't it? Mother thinks so too. She's got a hundred thirty-four of them in the attic, which we'll throw out when she dies.
DO NOT refer to the merchandise as "opium pipes" or "opiongs"! HYou will be asked to leave.
Bitches ain't...what? This is unreasonable! NO! IT'S NOT! LOOK IT UP Hoes Tricks
Well, what did you say when they asked about your family? I said I have two daddies and that I love them. Two daddies, and a mommy too! I didn't say that.
This right here solved ALL my problems. I was really in Shit City before I got my third bachelor's degree.
AM I ALSO TESTING YOUR FREAKY NECK NO You're testing my patience, rabbit.
Eggs Available in your grocer's hat/ass! Egg Hat Egg Ass
Hello! Hello! How are you today? Shitty.
MARRIEDTOTHESEA.COM People sometimes ask me, Why did you tattoo your forehead? And sometimes they ask "Why did you do it for only five dollars? Well, to me, five dollars is like a million dollars. Would you tattoo YOUR head for a million dollars? Yeah, I thought so.
Sir! Sir! Help! Please help! What's the problem, ma'am? Let's switch hats! What? What? What?! What?
Jerkmarine log. It's currently April fifth. We have but three barrels of dick paint left. Earlier today, we were forced to use daguerrotypes of penguins to carry out our morning constitutional. I worry that soon--Ensign! Stop writing at once! Titties at two o'clock! We may survive after all!
Roasted wenis: 8 cents Broasted wenis: add 3 cents
Don't you sit here reading the paper and ask me for some damn manicotti, Grandpa. Put your work in. Don't come back here all "oh my pension." You can eat when you go out and get that paper.
If...if I had only left my dorm room door open! And brought shower shoes. It's too late for that now, Claudia. You knew getting into this that college could be fatal.
Two in the saint One in the taint
You fool! That paper is upside down. You can't possibly know how to read. In fact...I think you could be compared to the Orchestrion, because you just played yourself.
Not fair? Not fair? Listen, buddy...you should be thankful we just got you in a regular jail. If this were 2007 you'd be tied up with barbed wire, drinking my piss in Cuba.
It's spectacular! Simply amazing. I'll trade you a necklace for it. Ha! No, I don't think so. How about a necklace and a blanket? Okay.
I came as fast as I could! Which one of you requested some ULTIMATE FUCKING JUSTICE?!
Trip report: Password reset T+0:00. Can't remember password T+0:01. Is it "password" T+0:02. No T+0:03. Send me a new password T+0:05. Where is my password T+0:08. I looked in the spam folder T+0:11. It's not anywhere T+0:12. God damn it
archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
