archives (by month):

2013: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun
2012: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
 

Married To The Sea comic: drink it up holmes * Text: 

This came out of my titties. Drink it up, Holmes.


It smells wonderful.
06-30-07

drink it up holmes
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Married To The Sea comic: going on a crusade * Text: 

Hey, we're going on a cruscade. It should only be, like...an hour. You need anything while I'm in Jerusalem?


Nah, I think I'm good. See you in a bit.
06-29-07

going on a crusade
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Married To The Sea comic: bulbophon * Text: 

BULB


BULB


BULB


Although it produced a unique and particularly sonorous timbre, the inventor of the Bulbophon, Chester Chambers of Pittsburg, later disavowed the instrument, claiming he
06-28-07

bulbophon
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Married To The Sea comic: cell phone grain * Text: 

I mean, I can, if you really want me to that badly. Here.


Looks like your cell phone...weighs...less than a pile of grain.
06-27-07

cell phone grain
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Married To The Sea comic: talking machine * Text: 

Hello. One two three. By the time you listen to this cylinder, I will be gone. Do not worry about our children, as I have sold them to a man up the road. You always liked this talking machine more than you liked me, so I shall leave you alone with it. Farewell. P.S. What are the big circles on top.
06-26-07

talking machine
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Married To The Sea comic: horseback marathon * Text: 

This rules ass. I can't believe that none of us thought to do the marathon on horseback until just this year.
06-25-07

horseback marathon
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Married To The Sea comic: twisted knee * Text: 

Heh. I ain't running till they invent orthopedic medicine. Fuck a twisted knee. Y'all have a blast.
06-24-07

twisted knee
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Married To The Sea comic: local music rules * Text: 

Local music RUUULESSSSS!!! WOOOOO
06-23-07

local music rules
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Married To The Sea comic: lesbian marriage * Text: 

Oh, don't worry too much, Emmaline. I'll bet you dollars to dimes that lesbian marriage will be legal by next year. Texas can't make us all ignorant forever, can they?
06-22-07

lesbian marriage
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Married To The Sea comic: ruler smack * Text: 

Here you go. Your very own cross. Keep it clean, and don't defile it, or I'll ruler-sack you till your eyes bleed.
06-21-07

ruler smack
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Married To The Sea comic: figs and olives * Text: 

They'll never believe you, Romanticus. How would we ever eat enough figs and olives to keep throwing up? Just because you write it down doesn't make it true.


What if they don't have figs and olives in the future? They won't know how nasty this shit is. They'll be like, hey, I bet those olives were awesome. They'll be all looking around for old seeds, trying to grow some olives.
06-20-07

figs and olives
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Married To The Sea comic: salty fisherman * Text: 

Seein' as this is your first time on board, I'll treat you to a Salty Fisherman. If you've never tried one, this'll be a treat. Hold this glass of rum. That's the fisherman. I'll go into the hold and shake out a sturgeon for the salty.
06-19-07

salty fisherman
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Married To The Sea comic: cook your own * Text: 

All right, got everything here...egg...prongs...spoon...grater. The meat...where's the meat? I don't seem to have any - wait, what's Mary cooking?


... Oh. Oh, my lord. I do believe the final challenge is to cook your own foot.
06-18-07

cook your own
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Married To The Sea comic: dennis * Text: 

Dear Lord...may your kindness have mercy upon the men fated to work this horrific man-made device, and I beseech thee to ensure that it spares the lives of my countrymen today. Well, thou could kill just one guy, that would be okay. If it pleases thee, I shall make a suggestion. Dennis.
06-17-07

dennis
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Married To The Sea comic: pope shocker * Text: 

How do you know


When a joke has been completely destroyed through repetition?


Heh heh. Shockerrrr.


A: When the pope thinks it's funny.
06-16-07

pope shocker
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Married To The Sea comic: hot dog cake * Text: 

There, there, Bradford. You can always have another daughter, and two more sons. Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never accidentally killed all three of your children?


Have a piece of hot dog cake.
06-15-07

hot dog cake
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Married To The Sea comic: will * Text: 

And to my beloved grandson, I hearby will my shitty old teeth.
06-14-07

will
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Married To The Sea comic: escarole potard * Text: 

L'ESCAROLE POTARD


1898


CrabWine


Drink somberly


Potard & ons, Montreal, PQ
06-13-07

escarole potard
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Married To The Sea comic: hey composer your inventions blow * Text: 

Oh, so you think you're real funny, huh? Well, listen, buddy. At least I finish my symphonies.
06-12-07

hey composer your inventions blow
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Married To The Sea comic: just be cool * Text: 

Listen, Harry...are you sure you wanna climb up Buddha? It just seems like a bad idea. People start wars over that kinda stuff.


Well, the thing is...Buddha would be cool with it. He'd be like, you know...go ahead and climb up my statue. It's all right. Just be cool.


Oh, yeah, I forgot. Don't harm living things, don't steal, no immoral boning, don't lie, don't take drugs, and just be cool.
06-11-07

just be cool
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Married To The Sea comic: wi fi connection * Text: 

Fear not, mine beautiful maiden. I shall find you a wi-fi connection anon.
06-10-07

wi fi connection
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Married To The Sea comic: shower without joy * Text: 

Finally...


SHOWER WIHTOUT JOY


Send 10 cents to Shoulder Sprinklers, Box 64, Boston, Mass. Include irritating New England accent.
06-09-07

shower without joy
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Married To The Sea comic: show tunes * Text: 

Creationist believe that God hates show tunes. Evolutionists believe that show tunes are a natural way for the sick and feeble-minded to identify each other. Which group is right?


A: Both.
06-08-07

show tunes
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Married To The Sea comic: unhand me at once * Text: 

Unhand me at once, wastrel! I know nothing of your beef, let alone where you might have left it last.
06-07-07

unhand me at once
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Married To The Sea comic: drug resistant * Text: 

Faster! Horse, faster! If I don't spread this drug-resistant tuberculosis to at least twenty people by sundown, I'm gonna owe Lucretia twenty bucks.
06-06-07

drug resistant
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Married To The Sea comic: cause of death * Text: 

Secretary, please record the cause of death as
06-05-07

cause of death
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Married To The Sea comic: every shitty bar * Text: 

And this group I'm in now, it's a seven-piece. We have three keyboard players. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. You guys should come check it out. We play...well...we play at every shitty bar in town, as a matter of fact.
06-04-07

every shitty bar
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Married To The Sea comic: horse spirit * Text: 

horse


Horse. A horse is what stepped on your father, because he was impure of spirit. H... O... R... S... E.
06-03-07

horse spirit
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Married To The Sea comic: turpentine dysentery * Text: 

I shouldn't be smoking around turpentine? Seriously? Listen, dude...let's make a deal. You stop coming over and telling me how to paint, and I'll stop laughing every time you get dystentery.
06-02-07

turpentine dysentery
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Married To The Sea comic: online dwarf mage * Text: 

Look! Look at me, I'm washing myself! If this works the way I've planned, I should be able to exchange this skill for a 90th-level online dwarf mage.
06-01-07

online dwarf mage
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archives (by month):

2013: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun
2012: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec