Married To The Sea - ARCHIVE: May 2007

Superpoop: 2014

Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2016: jan : feb
2015: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec

05-31-07: optical brain illusion

Married To The Sea comic: optical brain illusion * Text:

Did you know...

The brain on the right is the same size as the brain on the left. It is simply farther away.

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05-30-07: take it to america

Married To The Sea comic: take it to america * Text:

Garcon! Garcon. Merci. Merci bonjour. Listen...that statue...it is horrible. It is garish. When I look at it...my mouth is dry. Take it away. Send it to America or something.

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05-29-07: dont be a dick bjork

Married To The Sea comic: dont be a dick bjork * Text:

I'm glad you asked. In fact, my next album will be composed solely from the sound of my lawn mower. There will be no sampling...the mower is beautiful in its natural state.

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05-28-07: the insect man at night

Married To The Sea comic: the insect man at night * Text:

Let's see...grasshopper...worm thing...messed up butterfly...oof. Slim pickings. I guess I'll just grab this tiny bat.

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05-27-07: hypnotist trade show

Married To The Sea comic: hypnotist trade show * Text:

You are drifting in and out of consciousness. In and out. Any moment now, you'll stop thinking about that girl from the hypnotist trade show last year, and slip into a blissful, restful sleep. Now you're a fish, flop around-- Dammit!

You are drifting in and out of consciousness.

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05-26-07: graduate school

Married To The Sea comic: graduate school * Text:

Come on...it's time to go. I'll help you. Just sliiide on out. Everyone else is out here. You can do it.

No! I...I'm going to grad school! Leave me alone!

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05-25-07: cant get fat

Married To The Sea comic: cant get fat * Text:

You can't put your hair up with a chopstick? You have to be kidding me. You're like an American who can't get fat.

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05-24-07: water from heaven

Married To The Sea comic: water from heaven * Text:

And here's another thing. Look. You see that water? Where's it falling from? We have no way of explaining that. Not with science. There's no...I mean, look in a book. Does a book say where the water came from? No. Think about it.

Well, I think it might be coming from a river.

Ha! Ha! Isaac, did you hear that? He thinks there's a river, all the way up there, in those rocks. Next he'll be telling us that matter is mostly composed of empty space.

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05-23-07: summer

Married To The Sea comic: summer * Text:

BREAKING NEWS

It gets hot in the summer

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05-22-07: locust chucks

Married To The Sea comic: locust chucks * Text:

The men fought bravely, but the truth remained: If you want to kill a swarm of locusts, you'd better have nunchucks.

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05-21-07: breakthroughs in synthetic chemistry

Married To The Sea comic: breakthroughs in synthetic chemistry * Text:

And in that very lab, on that humid July night in 1904, William O. Tompkins performed the first successful synthesis of water, thereby beginning life on Earth.

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05-20-07: semicircle

Married To The Sea comic: semicircle * Text:

A telephone call? I'll be there in a moment. Let me finish up this circle.

Well, tell him that it'll only be a semi-circle unless I can finish.

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05-19-07: go back to the forest

Married To The Sea comic: go back to the forest * Text:

I think it's bizarre. When we were courting, nobody had anything nice to say. They'd look at me like,

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05-18-07: peperoni and chease

Married To The Sea comic: peperoni and chease * Text:

So...do you guys just want to ford the river?

Um...no, Rainbow-Deer-Whatever...I thought we were going to take the ferry.

Nah, it looks safe to me. I'm gonna save my three bucks.

All right...but, seriously, if you die, I'm gonna put on your tombstone 'here lies rainbow dude / peperoni and chease.'

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05-17-07: statue of myself

Married To The Sea comic: statue of myself * Text:

Would you look at that. I'm on my own damn table, holding some branches or something. Statue of myself! Bring me a piece of cheese!

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05-16-07: intellectual graffiti

Married To The Sea comic: intellectual graffiti * Text:

Hear ye! A gaol-industriall complexe has ensnared our hart

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05-15-07: take a closer look

Married To The Sea comic: take a closer look * Text:

TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT YOUR LIFE

It's okay

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05-14-07: christian scientist

Married To The Sea comic: christian scientist * Text:

So...you don't want a helmet?

Oh, no. Heavens, no, I'm a Christian Scientist. If this pipe doesn't save me, then we'll know I wasn't truly pure of heart.

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05-13-07: the helmet says

Married To The Sea comic: the helmet says * Text:

Ma'am, can you wait here for a moment? I'm getting spectacular readings from my helmet.

What does it say?

It...hold on...here it is again. Yes, clear as a bell, it says you need to sit on my lap for at least an hour.

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05-12-07: need a hatchet

Married To The Sea comic: need a hatchet * Text:

Am I going to need a hatchet? The sheet said I'd just need a wooden pole. Some one better tell me what's going on, or this is going in my blog.

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05-11-07: ten seconds to hat

Married To The Sea comic: ten seconds to hat * Text:

You sons of bitches have exactly ten seconds to give me my hat back. Ten. I mean it. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Take off your hats and see how it feels. Five. It feels bad.

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05-10-07: make your choice

Married To The Sea comic: make your choice * Text:

MAKE YOUR CHOICE! Will you go to heaven...or will you go...over there?

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05-09-07: blood diamonds

Married To The Sea comic: blood diamonds * Text:

Blood Diamonds

...Get 'em while they're still cruel!

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05-08-07: television marathon

Married To The Sea comic: television marathon * Text:

O! So...sleepy...barely able to hold knife...boob flopping out...yet I must continue to observe this infernal television marathon. Network, hast thou no pity?

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05-07-07: old rocks

Married To The Sea comic: old rocks * Text:

You know what? The next time my grandpa starts off on some shit about how great everything used to be, I'm just going to be like...how about those old dirty rocks, grandpa? How about when you didn't have ice cubes so if you wanted a cold drink you had to put some old rocks in it. Oh, and the earth was a half a degree colder back then, ooooh. Nice one, grandpa.

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05-06-07: cheater

Married To The Sea comic: cheater * Text:

You cheater! You're nothing but a dirty cheat!

What? What on earth are you talking about?

You used a refresher program to get so many fans. You aren't really popular.

I'm the queen, you fucking retard. Do you want to get decapitated?

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05-05-07: recording industry forbids it

Married To The Sea comic: recording industry forbids it * Text:

You fools! Turn off that phonograph at once! You already owe the recording industry six thousands for dancing to a non-dance-approved cylinder.

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05-04-07: bee gossip

Married To The Sea comic: bee gossip * Text:

MAN CELL PHONES SUCK PRETTY BAD

NO SHIT MAN

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FARMER NEEDS A CELL PHONE

YEAH WHAT IS HE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ON IT ANYWAY

OH HELP I JUST CUT MY ARM OFF COME GET ME I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME GIANT FIELD

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05-03-07: no buttfucking

Married To The Sea comic: no buttfucking * Text:

I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X

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05-02-07: republican christmas card

Married To The Sea comic: republican christmas card * Text:

Merry Christmas from...

the Republicans!

Let's Keep It Like This Forever, Except With A White Guy, and More Kids

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05-01-07: dark ages

Married To The Sea comic: dark ages * Text:

Okay, think. Crossing the street. Fan down...no, fan up...pinky out. Look straight ahead and...wait, should my fan be closed? Shit. This is retarded. What was so bad about the Dark Ages? At least you could get your pussy ate back then.

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2016: jan : feb
2015: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec

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