archives (by month):

2013: jan . feb . mar . apr . may
2012: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 		 
Married To The Sea comic: optical brain illusion * Text: Did you know... The brain on the right is the same size as the brain on the left. It is simply farther away.
05-31-07

optical brain illusion
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Married To The Sea comic: take it to america * Text: Garcon! Garcon. Merci. Merci bonjour. Listen...that statue...it is horrible. It is garish. When I look at it...my mouth is dry. Take it away. Send it to America or something.
05-30-07

take it to america
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Married To The Sea comic: dont be a dick bjork * Text: I'm glad you asked. In fact, my next album will be composed solely from the sound of my lawn mower. There will be no sampling...the mower is beautiful in its natural state.
05-29-07

dont be a dick bjork
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Married To The Sea comic: the insect man at night * Text: Let's see...grasshopper...worm thing...messed up butterfly...oof. Slim pickings. I guess I'll just grab this tiny bat.
05-28-07

the insect man at night
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Married To The Sea comic: hypnotist trade show * Text: You are drifting in and out of consciousness. In and out. Any moment now, you'll stop thinking about that girl from the hypnotist trade show last year, and slip into a blissful, restful sleep. Now you're a fish, flop around-- Dammit! You are drifting in and out of consciousness.
05-27-07

hypnotist trade show
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Married To The Sea comic: graduate school * Text: Come on...it's time to go. I'll help you. Just sliiide on out. Everyone else is out here. You can do it. No! I...I'm going to grad school! Leave me alone!
05-26-07

graduate school
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Married To The Sea comic: cant get fat * Text: You can't put your hair up with a chopstick? You have to be kidding me. You're like an American who can't get fat.
05-25-07

cant get fat
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Married To The Sea comic: water from heaven * Text: And here's another thing. Look. You see that water? Where's it falling from? We have no way of explaining that. Not with science. There's no...I mean, look in a book. Does a book say where the water came from? No. Think about it. Well, I think it might be coming from a river. Ha! Ha! Isaac, did you hear that? He thinks there's a river, all the way up there, in those rocks. Next he'll be telling us that matter is mostly composed of empty space.
05-24-07

water from heaven
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Married To The Sea comic: summer * Text: BREAKING NEWS It gets hot in the summer
05-23-07

summer
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Married To The Sea comic: locust chucks * Text: The men fought bravely, but the truth remained: If you want to kill a swarm of locusts, you'd better have nunchucks.
05-22-07

locust chucks
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Married To The Sea comic: breakthroughs in synthetic chemistry * Text: And in that very lab, on that humid July night in 1904, William O. Tompkins performed the first successful synthesis of water, thereby beginning life on Earth.
05-21-07

breakthroughs in synthetic chemistry
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Married To The Sea comic: semicircle * Text: A telephone call? I'll be there in a moment. Let me finish up this circle. Well, tell him that it'll only be a semi-circle unless I can finish.
05-20-07

semicircle
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Married To The Sea comic: go back to the forest * Text: I think it's bizarre. When we were courting, nobody had anything nice to say. They'd look at me like,
05-19-07

go back to the forest
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Married To The Sea comic: peperoni and chease * Text: So...do you guys just want to ford the river? Um...no, Rainbow-Deer-Whatever...I thought we were going to take the ferry. Nah, it looks safe to me. I'm gonna save my three bucks. All right...but, seriously, if you die, I'm gonna put on your tombstone 'here lies rainbow dude / peperoni and chease.'
05-18-07

peperoni and chease
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Married To The Sea comic: statue of myself * Text: Would you look at that. I'm on my own damn table, holding some branches or something. Statue of myself! Bring me a piece of cheese!
05-17-07

statue of myself
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Married To The Sea comic: intellectual graffiti * Text: Hear ye! A gaol-industriall complexe has ensnared our hart
05-16-07

intellectual graffiti
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Married To The Sea comic: take a closer look * Text: TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT YOUR LIFE It's okay
05-15-07

take a closer look
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Married To The Sea comic: christian scientist * Text: So...you don't want a helmet? Oh, no. Heavens, no, I'm a Christian Scientist. If this pipe doesn't save me, then we'll know I wasn't truly pure of heart.
05-14-07

christian scientist
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Married To The Sea comic: the helmet says * Text: Ma'am, can you wait here for a moment? I'm getting spectacular readings from my helmet. What does it say? It...hold on...here it is again. Yes, clear as a bell, it says you need to sit on my lap for at least an hour.
05-13-07

the helmet says
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Married To The Sea comic: need a hatchet * Text: Am I going to need a hatchet? The sheet said I'd just need a wooden pole. Some one better tell me what's going on, or this is going in my blog.
05-12-07

need a hatchet
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Married To The Sea comic: ten seconds to hat * Text: You sons of bitches have exactly ten seconds to give me my hat back. Ten. I mean it. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Take off your hats and see how it feels. Five. It feels bad.
05-11-07

ten seconds to hat
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Married To The Sea comic: make your choice * Text: MAKE YOUR CHOICE! Will you go to heaven...or will you go...over there?
05-10-07

make your choice
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Married To The Sea comic: blood diamonds * Text: Blood Diamonds ...Get 'em while they're still cruel!
05-09-07

blood diamonds
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Married To The Sea comic: television marathon * Text: O! So...sleepy...barely able to hold knife...boob flopping out...yet I must continue to observe this infernal television marathon. Network, hast thou no pity?
05-08-07

television marathon
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Married To The Sea comic: old rocks * Text: You know what? The next time my grandpa starts off on some shit about how great everything used to be, I'm just going to be like...how about those old dirty rocks, grandpa? How about when you didn't have ice cubes so if you wanted a cold drink you had to put some old rocks in it. Oh, and the earth was a half a degree colder back then, ooooh. Nice one, grandpa.
05-07-07

old rocks
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Married To The Sea comic: cheater * Text: You cheater! You're nothing but a dirty cheat! What? What on earth are you talking about? You used a refresher program to get so many fans. You aren't really popular. I'm the queen, you fucking retard. Do you want to get decapitated?
05-06-07

cheater
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Married To The Sea comic: recording industry forbids it * Text: You fools! Turn off that phonograph at once! You already owe the recording industry six thousands for dancing to a non-dance-approved cylinder.
05-05-07

recording industry forbids it
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Married To The Sea comic: bee gossip * Text: MAN CELL PHONES SUCK PRETTY BAD NO SHIT MAN WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FARMER NEEDS A CELL PHONE YEAH WHAT IS HE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ON IT ANYWAY OH HELP I JUST CUT MY ARM OFF COME GET ME I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME GIANT FIELD
05-04-07

bee gossip
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Married To The Sea comic: no buttfucking * Text: I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X
05-03-07

no buttfucking
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Married To The Sea comic: republican christmas card * Text: Merry Christmas from... the Republicans! Let's Keep It Like This Forever, Except With A White Guy, and More Kids
05-02-07

republican christmas card
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Married To The Sea comic: dark ages * Text: Okay, think. Crossing the street. Fan down...no, fan up...pinky out. Look straight ahead and...wait, should my fan be closed? Shit. This is retarded. What was so bad about the Dark Ages? At least you could get your pussy ate back then.
05-01-07

dark ages
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archives (by month):

2013: jan . feb . mar . apr . may
2012: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec