Crudbump: Rap & Beats
Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

04-30-08: americas illegal immigrants

Married To The Sea comic: americas illegal immigrants * Text: 

America's Illegal Immigrants


Building the world of tomorrow...today!


For $1.58 an hour

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04-29-08: historical accuracy

Married To The Sea comic: historical accuracy * Text: 

I'm sorry, sir, but I couldn't hear that. Can you repeat what you just said?


THERE'S NO HISTORICAL ACCURACY AT ALL IN THIS COMIC


PRESS 3 IF YOU HEARD ME THIS TIME

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04-28-08: dewey decimal system

Married To The Sea comic: dewey decimal system * Text: 

This is such bullshit. I went to college for six years to learn the Dewey Decimal system, and now they want to change to the Library of Congress classification.


I can't take this sitting down... I have to stand up for library science! I'm gonna tell that board that this library is a Dewey Decimal library, if they don't like it, they can check their books out elsewhere!


2


Didn't we just build a wall yesterday? This is bullshit.

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04-27-08: think aboutos

Married To The Sea comic: think aboutos * Text: 

I ain't no god-damn son of a bitch
You better think aboutos, baby!

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04-26-08: you look just like my daughter

Married To The Sea comic: you look just like my daughter * Text: 

Oh, no!


I forgot I have Alzheimer's!

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04-25-08: you dont tell me

Married To The Sea comic: you dont tell me * Text: 

Why don't we do it like this, man... You don't tell me where to spray my DDT and I won't tell you to cut those steaks a little thicker so they don't dry out on the grill.


And, for the record, I ain't seen one mosquito in your macaroni salad since I started pesticidin' last year.

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04-24-08: better hide this one

Married To The Sea comic: better hide this one * Text: 

When a man lies with a man
As he lies with a woman,
This act is no problem to God


Shit, I'd better hide this one.

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04-23-08: finest corn dog

Married To The Sea comic: finest corn dog * Text: 

The hell are you talking about, Lonnie?
Ol' Redwings here is the finest corn dog in the state. He'll find us some corn by noon, or my name ain't Lonnie too.

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04-22-08: oops thats not funny

Married To The Sea comic: oops thats not funny * Text: 

2021: A small group of rogue Americans hijack an airplane and fly it into the Burj Al-Arab, in Dubai. The United Arab Emirates spend the next five years invading Canada and torturing its citizens, eventually leaving over 80,000 dead.


Oops, that's not funny.

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04-21-08: what would be cooler

Married To The Sea comic: what would be cooler * Text:

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04-20-08: kill the lights

Married To The Sea comic: kill the lights * Text: 

Kill the lights, Joe... he's already dead. Looks like he choked on a band-aid.


FIRST AID

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04-19-08: soylent green

Married To The Sea comic: soylent green * Text: 

ME? You want me to help you make soylent green? I'd be thrilled! Oh, heavens!

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04-18-08: this is what i get

Married To The Sea comic: this is what i get * Text: 

Okay... I'm typing... can you repeat that? Lower-case r... m... dash... r... f. Enter. Okay, looks like it went through.



Wait, what? What do you mean,

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04-17-08: gardening is therapeutic

Married To The Sea comic: gardening is therapeutic * Text: 

Oh, yeah? Therapeutic?! You know what would be a lot more therapeutic than gardening? If you went back in time and didn't give the military permission to torture.

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04-16-08: is that prons

Married To The Sea comic: is that prons * Text: 

Is that... is that prons? Showos.


Oh, that is some prons. Why do you havos?

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04-15-08: tracking number 14

Married To The Sea comic: tracking number 14 * Text: 

Take Things On Boat Company


Parcel status: Loaded onto ship
Est. Delivery Date: 1890


2 FEB 89: BARREL LOADED
3 FEB 89: BARREL ON SHIP
14 AUG 89: STILL ON SHIP
8 NOV 89: STILL ON SHIP


SHIPPED


Tracking Number: 14

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04-14-08: each take a titty

Married To The Sea comic: each take a titty * Text: 

What? You can't give babies Benadryl tablets?! That's some bullshit.


How about this... swallow six or eight of 'em yourself, and in a half-hour, me and the baby'll each take a titty and go to sleep.

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04-13-08: american rules darts

Married To The Sea comic: american rules darts * Text: 

Three bullseyes for you, again! That ties us at nine hundred. My throw.


Say, before I go, Jim... you think we oughta back up a little? These

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04-12-08: twenty years till cmd z

Married To The Sea comic: twenty years till cmd z * Text: 

EL


Elron... What the hell kind of name is that? Swedish? How... oh, god dammit. It's an initial.

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04-11-08: lawnmower drama

Married To The Sea comic: lawnmower drama * Text: 

This is some great gasoline, lawnmower. Mmmm. Thanks.


Listen... I like mowing the lawn. It's one of my favorite jobs around the house... But we never do anything else. You don't want to go out, don't even want to go to the grocery with me... All you want to do is mow the lawn. I just think we'd be better friends than lovers.


Okay, cool... I'm glad we had this talk. Hey, it's looking like it's getting late. I'm gonna jet... you can finish my gasoline.

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04-10-08: coq au vin

Married To The Sea comic: coq au vin * Text: 

I got me some coq au vin! Everybody got they plate, but they ain't chipped in.


This type of shit calls for bay and thyme... you gotta saute before you add some wine.

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04-09-08: medical school

Married To The Sea comic: medical school * Text: 

Your graduation is at seven? Seven at night? You know I can't be there, Lisa... that's when my programs are on. Did you tell them that?


Well, I think some people do graduate from medical school twice. You haven't heard of a double doctor? No? Maybe I should be graduating, and you should study more.

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04-08-08: cold sore

Married To The Sea comic: cold sore * Text: 

No, other side. Right below your... yeah, right there.


It doesn't look like food to me... maybe a cold sore? Were you on Rock of Love recently?

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04-07-08: seven twenty

Married To The Sea comic: seven twenty * Text: 

7:20


Balance accounts every night

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04-06-08: biofuel revolution

Married To The Sea comic: biofuel revolution * Text: 

The Biofuel Revolution


Corn prices have tripled in the past two years. How is this changing farmers' lives?


A. More children of farmers attend college
B. Additional income allows those who produce our food to enjoy a higher quality of life
C. Farmers continue their unending life of manual labor, toil
D. All of the above


Answer: C

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04-05-08: back home for thanksgiving

Married To The Sea comic: back home for thanksgiving * Text:

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04-04-08: 99 accessories

Married To The Sea comic: 99 accessories * Text: 

The 1983 Subaru GL Turbo Station Wagon


99 accessories but a hitch ain't one

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04-03-08: almost

Married To The Sea comic: almost * Text: 

Oh, I'm so very tired of clearing all this snow! It almost makes me want to get off disability and find a job.

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04-02-08: umbrellas are feminine

Married To The Sea comic: umbrellas are feminine * Text: 

Ha ha! Ah, you're great, Liz. I just wish you'd listen to me, because I explained to you already that umbrellas are feminine. Now, if you had a briefcase...sure, I'd carry it. No problem.


Hey, is this your boob?

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04-01-08: some chick is real mad

Married To The Sea comic: some chick is real mad * Text: 

Um, no, I'm not just

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec