Superpoop: 2014
Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

03-31-08: haul my load

Married To The Sea comic: haul my load * Text: 

Whoa, that tractor chick is hot!


Whoa! I'd definitely let that pickup lady haul my load.

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03-30-08: figure it out

Married To The Sea comic: figure it out * Text: 

If only I could call my husband, from right here in the jelly aisle, and ask him what kind of jelly to buy...


Oh, wait. I can figure it out on my own. Hot damn.

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03-29-08: 2c ballet 7

Married To The Sea comic: 2c ballet 7 * Text: 

2C-ballet-7


2, 5-stravinskyl,7-propylnijinskylamine


Primary effects of this synthetic CYP3A4 agonist include hyperexcitatory activity in the visual cortex (

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03-28-08: flying apocalyptic fish

Married To The Sea comic: flying apocalyptic fish * Text: 

Flying Apocalypse Fish for Bush/Cheney 2008


Term Limits Are For Pussies: Bring On The End Times


I'M A FLYING APOCALYPTIC FISH AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE

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03-27-08: olympic diving team

Married To The Sea comic: olympic diving team * Text: 

You can take away our weapons of mass destruction...but you can't take away our Olympic diving team.

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03-26-08: fernald ohio worlds finest uranium

Married To The Sea comic: fernald ohio worlds finest uranium * Text: 

Are you sure I don't need nothin' special to handle this stuff? Boss? Hey, boss, you hear me? Hey.


...No? Okay, well, I'll be back in a minute.

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03-25-08: never ever grow up

Married To The Sea comic: never ever grow up * Text: 

You boys have to promise me one thing, right now...never, ever grow up.


If you're not still couch surfing at thirty-five, I'm going to be very disappointed in both of you.

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03-24-08: pube cheese

Married To The Sea comic: pube cheese * Text: 

Hey, Phillip...this your pube cheese? No? Well, someone left most of a wheel of cheese over here by the weights. They need to come get it.


Tey also need to clean their damn scanner so their gross pubes don't end up scanned into their comics.

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03-23-08: chefs soup of the day

Married To The Sea comic: chefs soup of the day * Text: 

Welcome to Tee-Jays! Down-home cooking at down-home prices. Party of three? Okay...booth, or table?


Booth? Great! Follow me. Chef's soup of the day is gravy.


Menu


Hey, can someone give me a hand here? I need a Tupperware so I can make it hot. I didn't get to be the head chef at Tee-Jays by microwaving metal.

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03-22-08: rabbit gets on the bus

Married To The Sea comic: rabbit gets on the bus * Text: 

PRAY TELL BUS DRIVER


HOW CAN I PAY FOR A VOYAGE TO SCHOOL


IS 30 RITALINS ENOUGH???


SCHOOL BUS

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03-21-08: deli fetish

Married To The Sea comic: deli fetish * Text: 

Hell...Ahem! Ah. Hello...That's a nice slicer you have. A Kartoffelhammer. Good choice...I'll have, ah...ten...ten pounds of bologna. Thin sliced, please.


So...how long have you been slicing here? Do you...do you like the sound it makes?

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03-20-08: ramp your ass

Married To The Sea comic: ramp your ass * Text: 

DAD! WAKE UP! Steve's about to ramp your ass! Wake...STEVE!!! RAMP HIM!!!


YOUR BETA BLOCKERS WON'T GET YOU OUT OF THIS ONE DAD

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03-19-08: lookin good gettin presents

Married To The Sea comic: lookin good gettin presents * Text: 

Lookin' good


Gettin' presents

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03-18-08: road paint

Married To The Sea comic: road paint * Text: 

You see what happens, son? The people go nuts for the horseless carriage, and all of a sudden they need lines to tell 'em where to go. That's where I come in.


See, you thought your old man was a sucker for buying three hundred gallons of dick paint...but you know what? Change the label, and all of a sudden it's road paint.


And I got a secret for you...before it was dick paint, it was horse paint.

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03-17-08: motorboating

Married To The Sea comic: motorboating * Text: 

Hi mom! Helllloooo! Alan, you see my mom over there? She's waving...see her?


This is great! I'm so glad you wanted to go motorboating!


Next time I want to motorboat her, I'm gonna have to spell it out. Christ.

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03-16-08: early terrorist screening

Married To The Sea comic: early terrorist screening * Text: 

Cayley's drawing got her a free scholarship to weekend art classes. Hooray!


Ethan's drawing won him a free trip to Guantanamo Bay.

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03-15-08: arc welding

Married To The Sea comic: arc welding * Text: 

If you aren't arc welding, then you aren't weld-SKZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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03-14-08: potard chugging

Married To The Sea comic: potard chugging * Text: 

I'm not going to 'chug' a glass of Potard! That's ridiculous. Crab wine should be savored. Do you know nothing about wines?


You get two more for that! No complaining! Bartender, two more shots of the 'Tard. Now, if you're ready, Dad, chug it like a man. On the count of three.

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03-13-08: left at the grocery store

Married To The Sea comic: left at the grocery store * Text: 

There's nothing to worry about, Eric. We'll snorkel for about an hour, and they'll be back to pick us up then.


Yeah, come on, man. Let's do this thing.


Hell no. I'm not falling for that shit...You know who fell for that trick? Punky Brewster. And you see what happened to her? That's right...left at the grocery store, trapped in a refrigerator.


No thank you.

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03-12-08: y2k bug

Married To The Sea comic: y2k bug * Text: 

All right...fire's going. Jason, good job setting up the tent. Your mother has some Orbitz in the cooler. Why dontcha grab a Pineapple Banana Cherry Coconut and have a seat? And don't you worry...we're gonna get through this Y2K bug just fine out here. The cities will burn first.

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03-11-08: come to do my bidding

Married To The Sea comic: come to do my bidding * Text: 

Come, mechanical army! Come to do my bidding!


No, not bidding like an auction.

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03-10-08: recession

Married To The Sea comic: recession * Text: 

Congratulations!


Gasoline


19.4


195


FOR SALE


151-1034


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 . + x %


It's a recession!

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03-09-08: little dickface concrete co

Married To The Sea comic: little dickface concrete co * Text: 

You wanna scratch your name in the concrete? Well, be my guest. I've only been out here since seven this morning, smoothing out this fuckin' concrete, but I'd love to have you waddle up and stick your finger in it. How 'bout I save you the trouble and just write

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03-08-08: low on bad decisions

Married To The Sea comic: low on bad decisions * Text: 

It's over here, behind the rock? Well, that's where I am, and I don't see anything. So...are we supposed to dig up this whole area? With our pikes?!


I knew this

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03-07-08: cincinnati adaptation experiment

Married To The Sea comic: cincinnati adaptation experiment * Text: 

fig. 1. The infamous Cincinnati Adaptation experiment. Javier, the feral Peruvian child, was abandoned by his mother at age 3 and spent his formative years running with a pack of wild dogs, who took him in as one of their own.


The researchers placed him with Moppy, a cocker spaniel. Moppy was raised by humans. Sadly, she disliked Javier, whom, she felt, displayed a clear lack of manners.

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03-06-08: ashes to ashes beer to pee

Married To The Sea comic: ashes to ashes beer to pee * Text: 

Ashes to ashes, beer to pee.

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03-05-08: great works of art and literature

Married To The Sea comic: great works of art and literature * Text: 

Phew! Printing is hard...at least I'm paving the way for future generations to record and communicate important political and scientific ideas, and to share great works of art and literature.

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03-04-08: a little farfetched

Married To The Sea comic: a little farfetched * Text: 

Unit three to base. Wi-fi just stopped working. Looks like it reaches...approximately...thirty feet from the door.


There's no way anyone around here could have accessed the wireless network...they'd have to be sitting in a parked car outside the building or something. A little farfetched.


Over.

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03-03-08: jury duty

Married To The Sea comic: jury duty * Text: 

How about this one?


Ah...it's okay...I like the part at the top, I guess. Do you have anything with a bigger bow? I hate to be so picky, but I've got jury duty in the morning.

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03-02-08: shit words

Married To The Sea comic: shit words * Text: 

shitfuck


shithole


shitdick


shitass


shitty


shits


Okay, can anyone think of a shit word that's longer than

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03-01-08: snatch buffet now open

Married To The Sea comic: snatch buffet now open * Text: 

SNATCH BUFFET


5?


All I Can Eat

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec