archives (by month):

2012: jan . feb
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec

theres no such thing as dreams daniel now go back to sleep

03-31-10

no such thing

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america were #1 at leaving our dogs outside all say

03-30-10

america number one

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me i want to go can i go on the special mission too

03-29-10

do you want to go on a special mission

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improve your attitude or this lunch is over molly for your information it does still count as camping if you live in a van in the woods we just camp more than your friends is all

03-28-10

improve your attitude

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well the fair was good cow won first place but were not allowed to eat him now if you can figure out how to cook this medal and eat it for six months i wont have to send it back

03-27-10

first place cow

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im a hippooooo ugh i hope hippos go extinct

03-26-10

i hope hippos go extinct

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you thin you can waltz in here fresh from coca cola and eat on my seal hell no son

03-25-10

fresh from coca cola

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here it is guys straight from my contact in japan completely indistinguishable from any other black box recorder but its got a hidden circuit that records fart noises onto the tape every twenty seconds

03-24-10

black box recorder

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did i just burn my sheep and eat my firewood shit im gonna get natural selected

03-23-10

natural selected

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no actually the funny thing is when you finally stop making red its even worse you feel horrible all the time and youre always mad im glad we had this talk arent you

03-22-10

moms talk on growing up

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quit lollygagging and get up out of the water your father and i didnt evolve so you could lay in the water like a damn fish

03-21-10

quit lollygagging

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strange, im not getting a pulse in your wrist let me see if i can find one in your buttcheek

03-20-10

not getting a pulse

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i knew it was your first time on the oregon trail when you bought that piano sfine though i aint gonna tell anyone

03-19-10

first time on the oregon trail

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matilda the hairs you have sent with your last letter are just the sort enclosed is an envelope with paid postage i beg you to send an additional 9997 hairs so that i may know the pleasure of coiffure once again yours fondly thomas

03-18-10

just the sort

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hey andre andre check out that guy over there should we be making our roof tilted like him

03-17-10

roof tilted

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shh dont cry the desert isnt that bad lots of space no traffic we can check if they have craigslist

03-16-10

the desert isnt that bad

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you guys better not be lying if they dont at least have pokemon silver at the hospital im walking

03-15-10

better not be lying

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my son while god is everywhere i do not think he has visited under your roof he does not typically leave dead birds out front or meow at night while you sleep

03-14-10

evidence of gods visit

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are you sure you dont want to hear what i came to tell you i even brought you a ghost flower look woooooo ghoooost flower

03-13-10

ghost flower

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you see what you can do under there mister ill go look for your horse

03-12-10

fixing a car

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sir if you want to wait nervously youll have to step over there and stand with those gentlemen

03-11-10

wait nervously

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plenty of our graduates go straight into wine drinking positions they said bullshit now i bet theyre gonna say i need to get my doctorate in wine to do that

03-10-10

wine degree

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not a fast reader eh ill leave this page open and you can whistle for me when it needs turned ill be in the back

03-09-10

not a fast reader

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angel angel help me perhaps what can you do for me in turn ill ill go to church every day thats more of a god thing you got any angel food maybe a cake

03-08-10

angel help me

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youre right helen this island sure is a lot like the mahiki back home never got sleeping sickness there but still

03-07-10

lunch on the island

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im sorry lass but itd never work out youre stuffed full of body thetans and youd never be allowed at our OTS parties

03-06-10

the mermaid problem

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arent you afraid they are going to make fun of him in school i dont care what the kids are wearing these days my son is not going our with his socks any higher than his knees

03-05-10

what the kids are wearing

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you havent renamed any of the blocks youre playing british empire darling coming up with new names for the savage lands is the best part of imperialism

03-04-10

playing british empire

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and who careful im standing up wooo i finally did it yeah im actually a huge surfer too bad there arent any waves out here or id shred the fuck out of em

03-03-10

huge surfer

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you dont like my weave theres the window you can leave outta here

03-02-10

dont like my weave

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you ready for dinner man no doubt im gonna eat so much garbage they outlaw my meat

03-01-10

pig dinner

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