Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2017: jan : feb
2016: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2015: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

01-31-13: you saved me great bird

Married To The Sea comic: you saved me great bird * Text: You saved me, great bird! Thank heavens! I could have drowned in this awful ocean! Shit. I thought that guy was dead. What am I gonna eat now?

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01-30-13: this concealer sucks

Married To The Sea comic: this concealer sucks * Text: Ugh, this concealer sucks. No matter how much of it I put on, I still look like I don't give a cold fuck.

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01-29-13: the bird nest

Married To The Sea comic: the bird nest * Text: O lady take these birds and know they will perish without the bird mother Truly this gift is a beautiful one, long have I sought a suitor who abhors birds

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01-28-13: dont have any lipstick

Married To The Sea comic: dont have any lipstick * Text: How many times do I have to tell you, Tanner? I don't have any lipstick! I don't even know where you would buy lipstick for dogs.

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01-27-13: a chick is born

Married To The Sea comic: a chick is born * Text: Cheep! Cheep! Ah, here I am...Wait. Do I hear a person? Shit! No! Goddammit, no!!! I wanted to be born after 2015! Noooooo!

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01-26-13: good signature file

Married To The Sea comic: good signature file * Text:

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01-25-13: a killing in the news business

Married To The Sea comic: a killing in the news business * Text: I bet we could make a killing in the news business if we could just figure out how to terrify the shit out of people every single day.

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01-24-13: the lincoln airblade

Married To The Sea comic: the lincoln airblade * Text: You know what I should make? A fan, but without blades. Just, like, a circle...that blows air...through the circle. I'll have to write that down after I get back from the play tonight.

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01-23-13: book burning

Married To The Sea comic: book burning * Text: YO FUCK THIS BOOK BULLSHIT KNOWLEDGE SUCKS A LOT LETTERS AND WORDS ARE A BUNCH OF ASS

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01-22-13: snakebear and turtledog

Married To The Sea comic: snakebear and turtledog * Text: Wow the view is great from up here SSSSSS ARF I'm moving as fast as I can arf arf arf

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01-21-13: technically walking

Married To The Sea comic: technically walking * Text: Technically, walking is exercise, but also, technically, Arby's is edible food.

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01-20-13: shipwreck rescue

Married To The Sea comic: shipwreck rescue * Text:

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01-19-13: ass this ass that

Married To The Sea comic: ass this ass that * Text: It's never Donald, which is my actual name. They just call me

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01-18-13: cobol getting nosy

Married To The Sea comic: cobol getting nosy * Text: COBOL has requested access to a list of all your friends, the bands you like, and every photograph you've taken in the past five years. Allow Y/N

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01-17-13: trends in fashion

Married To The Sea comic: trends in fashion * Text: Uh, I don't mean to be, like, rude, but...are you really wearing Toms? Because, I don't know if you noticed, but we're all doing leaves now. I mean, no offense.

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01-16-13: its working

Married To The Sea comic: its working * Text: It's working! My invention is working! I no longer hate myself! Finally, I...no, wait. Nope. There it is.

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01-15-13: the lamestream media

Married To The Sea comic: the lamestream media * Text: It's the media's fault, really. They like to portray us as lunatics, where the simple fact is that-OH MY GOD IS THAT A SINGLE BIRD SEED OVER THERE???!?

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01-14-13: trick i know

Married To The Sea comic: trick i know * Text: J...Jesus...It's...It's full of water...Psh, trick, I know, my dad made it and it's called the ocean.

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01-13-13: touche touche

Married To The Sea comic: touche touche * Text: Touche! Ow! Ow! Stop! Touche like you poked me, not touche like you proved a point, asshole!

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01-12-13: want some of this

Married To The Sea comic: want some of this * Text: You want some of this? Do you? Huh? Do you?

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01-11-13: ask me how

Married To The Sea comic: ask me how * Text: Ask me how to make money by charging people to tell them how to make money by charging people to tell them how to make money!

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01-10-13: sorry little buddy

Married To The Sea comic: sorry little buddy * Text: Sorry, little buddy. Now that you're not a fetus anymore, I just don't give a fuck what happens to you.

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01-09-13: six months to build

Married To The Sea comic: six months to build * Text: Heavens, no, I didn't build it, that would've taken forever! Took six months to get here after I ordered it. Mail used to be really slow.

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01-08-13: homeopathic excuse

Married To The Sea comic: homeopathic excuse * Text: I believe in homeopathy because real medicine hasn't been invented yet. What's your excuse, dipshit? Natural Healing Remedies HOMEOPATHIC Barb root Hojack tree Plang Noonoo Dram

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01-07-13: real sports ball dunking

Married To The Sea comic: real sports ball dunking * Text: Mnuhhh, I'm doing a ball dunk! Look! Not with the sports ball all the way...over there!

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01-06-13: ethical history of the diamond

Married To The Sea comic: ethical history of the diamond * Text: I'm glad you asked about the history of this diamond, sir.  Most of our customers don't care. The child who dug this full-carat stone out of the ground had both of his hands at the time, but one was cut off weeks later for suspicion of theft. He continued to work at the mine until his death at age 19. Really great stone, though, nice coloring and everything.

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01-05-13: the steering wheel

Married To The Sea comic: the steering wheel * Text: Yes, you're right, I did find the steering wheel, but I still don't think someone completely blind should be driving their own car, Astrid.

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01-04-13: sell the fish

Married To The Sea comic: sell the fish * Text: Sell the fish? Oh, no, boys! Ha! I'm independently wealthy. This is just what I do for a lark. I need something to do in between the years when I vote to uphold a plutocracy.

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01-03-13: shoveled the walk

Married To The Sea comic: shoveled the walk * Text: Ah, finally done! Now, if I weren't so seasonally-depressed, I'd be able to leave the house without slipping.

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01-02-13: winter is cool for a while

Married To The Sea comic: winter is cool for a while * Text: Everyone's quiet and peaceful until the Internet goes out.

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01-01-13: not having the olympics

Married To The Sea comic: not having the olympics * Text: You're not having the Olympics this year. That's what I shoulda told that guy up there.

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2017: jan : feb
2016: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2015: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec