Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2017: jan : feb
2016: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2015: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

09-30-15: didnt get fished

Married To The Sea comic: didnt get fished * Text: UHHHH NO DUMBASS I DIDN'T GET FISHED...THIS IS ACTUALLY MY DUDE...WE GOING TO THE CLUB LATER...Yeah, we hittin the strip. Fuck outta here.

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09-29-15: hey other cactus

Married To The Sea comic: hey other cactus * Text: Hey! Other cactus! You wanna...no? Still no? Same old stuck-in-the-ground-won't-let-me-blow-pollen-on-you-up-close excuse? Damn. We really do, truly, need some male cactus rights.

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09-28-15: my thirsty children

Married To The Sea comic: my thirsty children * Text: My children... Y'all is thirsty... U wanna see my list of top tweets from June? Get me on that #fishfriday tag. Retweet for a fan Jeez.

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09-27-15: kinda weird to be cold

Married To The Sea comic: kinda weird to be cold * Text: You cold, man? Kinda weird to be cold. Nah... nah, I'm not cold... just checking out this blanket I found... fairly nice blanket...

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09-26-15: standing desks

Married To The Sea comic: standing desks * Text: No, I haven't heard about standing-desks being healthier! That's fantastic! And I don't have a chair this tall, either, which is why I'm standing, btw.

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09-25-15: down the stairs without a care

Married To The Sea comic: down the stairs without a care * Text: Ah! I've found a way to walk! Time to see what those stairs are all about.

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09-24-15: how to make gravel

Married To The Sea comic: how to make gravel * Text: It's easy. I pour the water through the desk thing here, throw all the weird shiny rocks back into the river, and keep the beautiful grey gravel.

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09-23-15: explain yourself christopher

Married To The Sea comic: explain yourself christopher * Text: Christopher, I'll ask you once more to explain yourself. When you said

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09-22-15: seals of the apocalypse

Married To The Sea comic: seals of the apocalypse * Text: No! Dumb-ass horse! There aren't nine seals of the apocalypse! Seven! There are seven seals. Idiot-ass horse. Shithorse

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09-21-15: steak by monday

Married To The Sea comic: steak by monday * Text: Okay. Here's what we'll do. You eat this grass, and if you're steak by Monday, I'll diagnose you as a cow. Otherwise, you're on your own.

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09-20-15: these women wanna vote

Married To The Sea comic: these women wanna vote * Text: These women want to vote? Like...in an election? Did you tell them the thing about how we pay off Congress either way? You did? Well, shit. Let them vote, I guess.

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09-19-15: paying us back

Married To The Sea comic: paying us back * Text: You'll end up paying us back about seven times what you borrow, over the course of your entire life. But if you think about it, it's actually a great deal.

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09-18-15: wanted to be at the top

Married To The Sea comic: wanted to be at the top * Text: If you wanted to be at the top, you should have thought ahead and been born into a family of wealth and influence, morons!

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09-17-15: mule with wings

Married To The Sea comic: mule with wings * Text: No, it didn't work, I'm afraid...His body is just too heavy for the wings to carry him in flight. Still got a delicious asshole, though. I could eat that mule's grassy hole all day.

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09-16-15: a damn turd

Married To The Sea comic: a damn turd * Text: OH MAN I WANNA..I WANNA LAND ON A DAMN TURD AND THEN LAND ON A DAMN DRINKING GLASS! I'M GONNA RUB MY HANDS LIKE BIRDMAN!!! DO WHAT YOU WANT MAN BUT I'M PRETTY SURE YOU DON'T HAVE HANDS

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09-15-15: sir youve had 4 bottles

Married To The Sea comic: sir youve had 4 bottles * Text: Sir, you've had 4 bottles' worth, I'm sure you can decide whether or-DOn't sir me u son of bitch...More wine and I tell u if I buy it...

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09-14-15: take inflation

Married To The Sea comic: take inflation * Text: When I take inflation into account, I'll be losing value just by holding onto my own money I already have...what a wonderful system.

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09-13-15: let me survey

Married To The Sea comic: let me survey * Text: Let me survey the terrain, David. You hold the map. Oh-ho! I see how it is! I spy a mound of dirt that looks like a titty and suddenly you want on the scope!

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09-12-15: ass couch fabric

Married To The Sea comic: ass couch fabric * Text: No, that one's a bit too rug-like. This is going to be going on my ass-couch that I've got back here, behind my ass...Do you have any ass-couch fabric?

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09-11-15: dont even

Married To The Sea comic: dont even * Text: Psh. Don't even come up to me like that. I know my dogs are cute. Go pickup-artist someone dumber.

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09-10-15: fwee go home

Married To The Sea comic: fwee go home * Text: FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Go home! Everyone go home! By this time tomorrow your wages will be worth infinitesimally less! Day after day they'll decline in real worth until you're completely impoverished!!!!!

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09-09-15: do i fuck the horse

Married To The Sea comic: do i fuck the horse * Text: Do I fuck the horse? Ha! Of course you'd ask that, simpleton. No. Of course I don't. I've got a little stableman who does that for me.

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09-08-15: fragile package

Married To The Sea comic: fragile package * Text: Whoa, whoa! Hold up! This one's marked

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09-07-15: movable type

Married To The Sea comic: movable type * Text: These little fuckers and their movable type...When I was their age, I had to transcribe books by hand. More authentic. You really had to work for it.

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09-06-15: confederates are just huge assholes

Married To The Sea comic: confederates are just huge assholes * Text: but, mostly, these Confederates are just huge assholes. That's like 85% of it. Don't tell anyone I said that, though. Say the slavery thing.

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09-05-15: delicious internet tears

Married To The Sea comic: delicious internet tears * Text: These tears taste delicious when frozen, Frederick. Yes, and thank you. It's nice to be able to turn internet complaints into something productive.

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09-04-15: all winded up

Married To The Sea comic: all winded up * Text: No, no. These are all winded up into circles. We need something flat to cover the floor. We'll be leaving now.

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09-03-15: stab circle

Married To The Sea comic: stab circle * Text: Stab-circle! Everyone circle round! We've got a stab circle! Psh. More stabbing, less blabbing.

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09-02-15: her face is messed up

Married To The Sea comic: her face is messed up * Text: Her face is messed up like heck. I would not do sex to her, which, clearly, would be a possibility, were I not to decline.

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09-01-15: boarded up window

Married To The Sea comic: boarded up window * Text: The what? Boarded up window? Look, guys, I'm the landlord, not the interior designer. You rent the place, you put glass, or a cage on there. Honestly don't care as long as I get my $2500 a month.

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2017: jan : feb
2016: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2015: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec