Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2017: jan : feb
2016: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2015: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

04-30-16: population control

Married To The Sea comic: population control * Text: Forty-one! Number forty-one, report to the front of the room for population control. The rest of you may return to your apartments.

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04-29-16: melt all the ice

Married To The Sea comic: melt all the ice * Text: We're going to melt all the ice in the world! Who will melt the ice? We will! We will!

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04-28-16: the printing press

Married To The Sea comic: the printing press * Text: Sure, this thing's fine now, but I'd imagine that once something comes along to replace the energy-and material-heavy labor of printing, we won't need to run printing presses anymore. It would be ridiculous for old people to allow this process to continue through a stubborn refusal to adapt.

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04-27-16: hope there are no ghosts

Married To The Sea comic: hope there are no ghosts * Text: No ghosts? You hope there are no ghosts? Fuck you think a seance is for, son? You think we bout to hold hands and chant for fun? Fuck outta here.

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04-26-16: theres got to be a better way

Married To The Sea comic: theres got to be a better way * Text: There's got to be a better way than this...We should be able to sit at our desks and read bulletins. Maybe the bulletins could have in-bulletin purchases.

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04-25-16: press the button

Married To The Sea comic: press the button * Text: Okay, you press the button, and-yep! Just like that! It's amazing to me that this works, but it's completely normal to you. You will be similarly amazed by your childrens' generation's ability to send emoji on a hoverboard while wearing a virtual-reality headset.

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04-24-16: i have to go martin

Married To The Sea comic: i have to go martin * Text: I have to go, Martin. There's some fucking lady here. No, she doesn't look...yeah, she looks a little stupid. No, not like flat-earth stupid...more like buy-the-fries-and-drink separately instead of the combo meal stupid. Yeah, like spicy chicken stupid...you know her? Great. We'll have something to talk about then. I'll let you go. Bye.

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04-23-16: dont like the bagpipes

Married To The Sea comic: dont like the bagpipes * Text: No, I don't really like the bagpipes. I just hate when people have a nice, quiet time outside on a sunny day.

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04-22-16: this isnt very much meat

Married To The Sea comic: this isnt very much meat * Text: This isn't very much meat. Oh, no, not at all! That's not meat! It's ground-up glass and Band-Aids.

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04-21-16: my bell rangin

Married To The Sea comic: my bell rangin * Text: Yeah!!! Yeah! I got my bell rangin'!!! RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG RANG IF MY BELL RANGING MY HAT BANGIN

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04-20-16: titty spinners

Married To The Sea comic: titty spinners * Text: You did not just call me

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04-19-16: not a man bun

Married To The Sea comic: not a man bun * Text: It's not a

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04-18-16: long live the ruling class

Married To The Sea comic: long live the ruling class * Text: Long live the ruling class! Long live the oligarchs! Capital is our only God! Pay respect to the ultra-rich! Like a lightbulb!

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04-17-16: more like shitcoin

Married To The Sea comic: more like shitcoin * Text: More like Shitcoin, Bertold. It's more like Shitcoin. Don't ask us to give you money for your Shitcoin ever again.

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04-16-16: your web usage is monitored

Married To The Sea comic: your web usage is monitored * Text: You monitor all of my web usage? Okay. I'm working on a VT100 dumb terminal and I can only access a 90-year-old mainframe, so feel free.

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04-15-16: oktober fest

Married To The Sea comic: oktober fest * Text: October? Why do you keep saying October at- Hold on, you son of a bitch. I can't trinken mein bier without being called a goddamn German? You got a lotta Nerven sagen that Scheibe zu mir. Sich verpissen.

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04-14-16: if you rememberohs

Married To The Sea comic: if you rememberohs * Text: If you remember these...ASCII PORNS ANSI PORNS BIG BUBE PORNS YOU HAD AN AWESOME CHILDHOOD

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04-13-16: car checklist

Married To The Sea comic: car checklist * Text: Car Checklist This car look like it sat in the airport parking lot for 12 years. This car look like it take leaded gasoline. Car got a car bra on like from the 80s. This car 32 years old the day it was made. Why this car look like the before picture on Pimp My Ride.

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04-12-16: state legislation

Married To The Sea comic: state legislation * Text: Great question, Aiden. Unfortunately, due to state legislation regarding the teaching of evolution, I'm not allowed to tell you what that dinosaur is.

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04-11-16: i heard someone criticizing capitalism

Married To The Sea comic: i heard someone criticizing capitalism * Text: Hold on! I heard someone criticizing capitalism! I'll be there as fast as I can, because capitalism is actually good!

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04-10-16: bad voting festival

Married To The Sea comic: bad voting festival * Text: Bad Voting Festival April 11-18 Against your own interests Single-issue Knee-jerk  more

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04-09-16: heres what i need you to type

Married To The Sea comic: heres what i need you to type * Text: Here's what I need you to type. Since my handwriting is so awful, I've typed it, to make it easier for you to read.

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04-08-16: right of way

Married To The Sea comic: right of way * Text: Okay. So, what if I'm not driving, and I'm a tree, and he's dead, do I have the right of way?

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04-07-16: im flying

Married To The Sea comic: im flying * Text: I'm flying...-ish!

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04-06-16: you nor your horse

Married To The Sea comic: you nor your horse * Text: Sir, while I would never bother to help you, nor your horse, I shall gladly laugh a bit before riding off, to cheer you up.

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04-05-16: book report

Married To The Sea comic: book report * Text: Mrs. Jenkins Period 5/6 April 2 A+ I don't care either The protagonist of this book blah blah I don't care. This book is terrible and Mrs. Jenkins is not going to read my essay. I'm going to make sure it's long enough words words blah blah blah rap is cool. Blah blah some words of different lengths so it looks real. I have to make a new paragraph here so it looks like I wrote a real essay. I don't think anyone will read this, or for that matter

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04-04-16: wetness doesnt stop me

Married To The Sea comic: wetness doesnt stop me * Text: Wetness doesn't stop me. My body is actually 60% made of wetness.

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04-03-16: information starved teleworld

Married To The Sea comic: information starved teleworld * Text: It's just a matter of time until we are released from our information-starved teleworld, tied to copper wires, beckoned at the behest of any person who can press seven numbers in order. Okay. Yep. You too. Talk to you later. Bye.

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04-02-16: say the tweet thing

Married To The Sea comic: say the tweet thing * Text: Say it, man. Say the thing from your tweet that everyone sent around everywhere. Everyone's here to hear you say it. Hey! Tweet guy! Say your tweet you made!

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04-01-16: it was worth it

Married To The Sea comic: it was worth it * Text: Hell yes, it was worth it! It wasn't like we fought a proxy war just to...Now, you've got a look on your face. No, you've...Goddamn it, this was a proxy war, wasn't it?!

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2017: jan : feb
2016: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2015: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec