archives (by month):

2013: jan . feb . mar . apr . may
2012: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 		 
Married To The Sea comic: construction company * Text: Hey! Construction company here. You ordered some sprawl?
12-31-07

construction company
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Married To The Sea comic: clone is ready * Text: Your clone is ready, Mrs. Clark. Make sure you feed her at least five times a day, or we'll have to make you a new one from scratch.
12-30-07

clone is ready
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Married To The Sea comic: old phone * Text: Mom! Look what I found in the basement! What is it? It's just an old phone. Sweet. How do I get to the MP3s?
12-29-07

old phone
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Married To The Sea comic: number two train * Text: Take the #2 train at 8am every morning. You can get a ticket...for the price of a cup of coffee.
12-28-07

number two train
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Married To The Sea comic: swing by * Text: We meet again, Henry! I thought I'd swing by and ax you a question.
12-27-07

swing by
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Married To The Sea comic: pulled over in canada * Text: Sir, can you please step out of your car? I pulled you over for failing to wave
12-26-07

pulled over in canada
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Married To The Sea comic: my girlfriend * Text: Although Randall found actual human interaction tedious, he often spent long nights perfecting features on
12-25-07

my girlfriend
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Married To The Sea comic: intelligent design answers questions about biology * Text: Why is this tree so much taller than the others? God's will. That doesn't- God's will. ... Okay. Well, are you about ready to go home? God's will.
12-24-07

intelligent design answers questions about biology
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Married To The Sea comic: memulonimbus * Text: Ernesto! Is that the ocean down there? Dear me, no! Those are memulonimbus clouds, which puts us at an elevation of roughly two million feet above sea level.
12-23-07

memulonimbus
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Married To The Sea comic: unarmored jeep * Text: Well, okay...I'll patrol Baghdad for three years in an unarmored jeep. Is there any way y'all can ruin the national budget in the meantime so I won't be able to go to college if I come back?
12-22-07

unarmored jeep
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Married To The Sea comic: swashbuckling * Text: Mon dieu! Gerald! Look at that man. Sacrebleu! Where is his sword? Does he not know that the swashbuckling begins in an hour?
12-21-07

swashbuckling
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Married To The Sea comic: stock trade * Text: I wonder why the glasses are shaped like funnels. Then, when the options are overpriced by a reasonable margin, I purchase the stock and sell the option. I hit twenty-three hundred conversions today. Over half were reversals. These days you don't see any of those. Of course, with the new automated system, the option has seen an unprecedented
12-20-07

stock trade
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Married To The Sea comic: waffle iron * Text: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...I'd like to bring your attention to Exhibit A. This waffle iron clearly emits the same sound as an electronic alarm clock, and could easily be con--god damn it, I'm having another lawyer dream.
12-19-07

waffle iron
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Married To The Sea comic: gold to mine * Text: I can't believe we're going to all this trouble just to talk to people in San Francisco. Don't they have some gold to mine?
12-18-07

gold to mine
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Married To The Sea comic: stairs around here * Text: Excuse me... Exc- Hey! Guy! Yes, you! Do you know if there are any stairs around here?
12-17-07

stairs around here
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Married To The Sea comic: professional drinker * Text: Nothing for a professional drinker. Yet again. I'm starting to feel like my career in indie-rock was a dead end.
12-16-07

professional drinker
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Married To The Sea comic: flat world * Text: You moron! The entire world isn't flat. Only the bottom is.
12-15-07

flat world
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Married To The Sea comic: white out copy and destroy the original * Text: Good afternoon, Tony! I wasn't expecting you until a bit later - let me finish forging this OSHA documentation and I'll be with you in a minute.
12-14-07

white out copy and destroy the original
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Married To The Sea comic: six car pileup * Text: Oh, come on, Ted. One little six-car pile-up, and now you can't walk at all? Pick up the pace. I gotta leave here early today if I want to beat traffic.
12-13-07

six car pileup
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Married To The Sea comic: catch a cork * Text: Catch the cork...before it catches you! The gaming craze that paralyzed New York and brought Philadelphia to a standstill is now here. Catch-A-Cork requires no tinctures or scrubbing, and will provide hours of fun for married or unmarried men and women Ages 12+ Available wherever corks are sold.
12-12-07

catch a cork
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Married To The Sea comic: judge comics * Text: JUDGE We will now recess until tomorrow morning. Bailiff, please examine these cartoons I drew of the plaintiff and three of the twelve jury members.
12-11-07

judge comics
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Married To The Sea comic: the wood age * Text: Hey, Benjamin...you ever thought maybe we could build stuff out of something other than wood?
12-10-07

the wood age
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Married To The Sea comic: learn to walk * Text: Now put your other foot down...perfect! You can walk! You're going to need a lot of practice. Do a couple laps around the living room, and when you're done, I'll let you go to the store and pick up a few things.
12-09-07

learn to walk
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Married To The Sea comic: losing the mail so you dont have to * Text: Credit card offer...deliver. Coupon pack...deliver. Local Advertising...deliver. Catalogs...deliver. Phone, electricity, gas bills...deliver to the mean old lady up the street.
12-08-07

losing the mail so you dont have to
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Married To The Sea comic: wizard needs food * Text: Wizard needs food! Yeah, don't we all? Wizard needs food...badly! Well, I think Wizard needs to get a fuckin' job. How about that?
12-07-07

wizard needs food
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Married To The Sea comic: library timeline * Text: Library timeline Invented Used by people researching information Used by homeless men as an Internet-enabled jerkoff spot
12-06-07

library timeline
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Married To The Sea comic: leak into the basement * Text: Hey, man. Do you think it's cool if I leak through the floor into the basement? What? Dude...I've been leaking into the basement for years. Of course you can.
12-05-07

leak into the basement
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Married To The Sea comic: aqua dots * Text: You've been a good, hard-working wife for ten years now, Yvette...and for our anniversary, I had my brother import some Aqua Dots as a special treat. They're at the bottom of your cup. Cheers!
12-04-07

aqua dots
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Married To The Sea comic: midnight comic * Text: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! It's midnight! Time for a new Married To The Sea comic! 12:00 Shit. This one is about me.
12-03-07

midnight comic
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Married To The Sea comic: blackwater receipts * Text: Hey, Donald. I was calling because I've been going through the year's receipts, and everything from Blackwater has been torn out. I can still see the edges on a few of them. Do you know where they are? Oh, yeah. I grabbed those a while back. I've got them in storage here.
12-02-07

blackwater receipts
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Married To The Sea comic: unit three to base * Text: Unit three to base, do you copy? Unit three to base. There's some kinda smart-ass up here, pasting graph paper to the wall. No, he does not look like a nerd. Over.
12-01-07

unit three to base
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archives (by month):

2013: jan . feb . mar . apr . may
2012: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec