archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
Hey! Construction company here. You ordered some sprawl?
Your clone is ready, Mrs. Clark. Make sure you feed her at least five times a day, or we'll have to make you a new one from scratch.
Mom! Look what I found in the basement! What is it? It's just an old phone. Sweet. How do I get to the MP3s?
Take the #2 train at 8am every morning. You can get a ticket...for the price of a cup of coffee.
We meet again, Henry! I thought I'd swing by and ax you a question.
Sir, can you please step out of your car? I pulled you over for failing to wave "thank you" at the station wagon who let you merge back there.
Although Randall found actual human interaction tedious, he often spent long nights perfecting features on "My Girlfriend", a hand-carved clockwork woman.
Why is this tree so much taller than the others? God's will. That doesn't- God's will. ... Okay. Well, are you about ready to go home? God's will.
Ernesto! Is that the ocean down there? Dear me, no! Those are memulonimbus clouds, which puts us at an elevation of roughly two million feet above sea level.
Well, okay...I'll patrol Baghdad for three years in an unarmored jeep. Is there any way y'all can ruin the national budget in the meantime so I won't be able to go to college if I come back?
Mon dieu! Gerald! Look at that man. Sacrebleu! Where is his sword? Does he not know that the swashbuckling begins in an hour?
I wonder why the glasses are shaped like funnels. Then, when the options are overpriced by a reasonable margin, I purchase the stock and sell the option. I hit twenty-three hundred conversions today. Over half were reversals. These days you don't see any of those. Of course, with the new automated system, the option has seen an unprecedented
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...I'd like to bring your attention to Exhibit A. This waffle iron clearly emits the same sound as an electronic alarm clock, and could easily be con--god damn it, I'm having another lawyer dream.
I can't believe we're going to all this trouble just to talk to people in San Francisco. Don't they have some gold to mine?
Excuse me... Exc- Hey! Guy! Yes, you! Do you know if there are any stairs around here?
Nothing for a professional drinker. Yet again. I'm starting to feel like my career in indie-rock was a dead end.
You moron! The entire world isn't flat. Only the bottom is.
Good afternoon, Tony! I wasn't expecting you until a bit later - let me finish forging this OSHA documentation and I'll be with you in a minute.
Oh, come on, Ted. One little six-car pile-up, and now you can't walk at all? Pick up the pace. I gotta leave here early today if I want to beat traffic.
Catch the cork...before it catches you! The gaming craze that paralyzed New York and brought Philadelphia to a standstill is now here. Catch-A-Cork requires no tinctures or scrubbing, and will provide hours of fun for married or unmarried men and women Ages 12+ Available wherever corks are sold.
JUDGE We will now recess until tomorrow morning. Bailiff, please examine these cartoons I drew of the plaintiff and three of the twelve jury members.
Hey, Benjamin...you ever thought maybe we could build stuff out of something other than wood?
Now put your other foot down...perfect! You can walk! You're going to need a lot of practice. Do a couple laps around the living room, and when you're done, I'll let you go to the store and pick up a few things.
Credit card offer...deliver. Coupon pack...deliver. Local Advertising...deliver. Catalogs...deliver. Phone, electricity, gas bills...deliver to the mean old lady up the street.
Wizard needs food! Yeah, don't we all? Wizard needs food...badly! Well, I think Wizard needs to get a fuckin' job. How about that?
Library timeline Invented Used by people researching information Used by homeless men as an Internet-enabled jerkoff spot
Hey, man. Do you think it's cool if I leak through the floor into the basement? What? Dude...I've been leaking into the basement for years. Of course you can.
You've been a good, hard-working wife for ten years now, Yvette...and for our anniversary, I had my brother import some Aqua Dots as a special treat. They're at the bottom of your cup. Cheers!
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! It's midnight! Time for a new Married To The Sea comic! 12:00 Shit. This one is about me.
Hey, Donald. I was calling because I've been going through the year's receipts, and everything from Blackwater has been torn out. I can still see the edges on a few of them. Do you know where they are? Oh, yeah. I grabbed those a while back. I've got them in storage here.
Unit three to base, do you copy? Unit three to base. There's some kinda smart-ass up here, pasting graph paper to the wall. No, he does not look like a nerd. Over.
archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
