archives (by month):

2012: jan . feb
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec

Attention! The Drama Club will convene in 5... 4... 3... 2... TOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

01-31-07

its my turn to blow the drama horn

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They told you I like PIERS ANTHONY?! Are you serious? Piers Anthony writes books for child molesters who don't read anything not involving child molesting.

01-30-07

piers anthony

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What happened to Jamestown? #3 This is not Jamestown. Where did this picture come from

01-29-07

jamestown 3

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The doctor says I need more fiber. But how! How can I eat more fiber? My figure will be forever ruined if I gorge myself to suit that doctor! You could always eat my beard, my love...Slowly. Very slowly. While your hair is all up in a bun, just like that. Damn.

01-28-07

fiber

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No, Eleanor, no! There will be no "Gimmie a cup of butter!" You will say "May I have a cup of butter, please." Try it. May I have a cup of butter, please.

01-27-07

cup of butter

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And now...I want you all to suck my lizard.

01-26-07

lizard

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Ol' Sour Contentment wet-brewed, un-filtered, with a sour taste you'll learn to tolerate! It'll put you in a box too! Contents: one box of drunk man

01-25-07

OL SOUR

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DICK PAINT PRICE. 50 CENTS

01-24-07

DICK

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Meanwhile, inside a turtle's mind... Mmmmm, plankton. Plankton? Plankton Plankton This plankton is delicious

01-23-07

turtlemind

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If you're all up on my land like that, can you at least try to be less of a dick.

01-22-07

up on my land

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God, I love getting ripped and looking at my own sperm under a microscope.

01-21-07

the wonders of science

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What's that spraying out of the nozzle, over there? Oh, that's just water, nothing dangerous. We like to wash the bodies off between clients, to keep them fresh. Now, if you'll each pick out one you want, we'll check you into your rooms and you should have a delivery in about ten minutes.

01-20-07

keep them fresh

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Glub glub. Nothing down here...except for that underwater operation. Glub.

01-19-07

underwater operation

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Fuckin' frog! Fuck you, frog!

01-18-07

dont hate frogs

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So...who else here is having a shitty dinner?

01-17-07

shitty dinner

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hork hork hork hork hork Puke Plates Protect your family and yourself with top quality Puke Plates. 40 cents. Enjoy nature as it was intended to be enjoyed: without cat puke. Write to Puke Plates, Columbus, O.

01-16-07

outdoor puke plates now available

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DEAD CONGRESSMEN Gol' dang it! Why's this ol' box so heavy?

01-15-07

its full of dead congressmen

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NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS Lord forbid you should have to pee while you're out and about

01-14-07

public restrooms

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chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug INTERNET! USM EXPRESS

01-13-07

internet train

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Puke Plates Top quality puke plates available for cats. 40 cents. Write to Puke Plates, Columbus, O. hork hork hork hork hork hork hork CATS: PUKE HERE

01-12-07

puke plates

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FETUSES JUST BRING IT BACK WHEN YOU ARE DONE

01-11-07

bring it back

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Josephine, will you ma- No. ...make me a sandwich when we get home? No.

01-10-07

no wife no lunch

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Wash no evil

01-09-07

wash no evil

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Well, it could be that when you die, your perception simply stops, and there is nothing. Or, you'll float through some clouds, until you come to a podium where an angel stands to decide your fate, and if you make it inside the cloud world, you learn that an invisible, omnipresent, omnipotent lord invented dinosaurs to test us. Either way.

01-08-07

dont even get me started on intelligent design

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Hey, finally. I've been starving...wait. What the shit is going on here? This isn't American food, is it? Ugh. I bet it is. This is going to be full of macaroni...and ham. And Nutty Bars.

01-07-07

american food

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NOT GETTING ANYTHING YET CAN YOU TRY AGAIN You are healed!

01-06-07

HEALED

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You can't do magic tricks... WITH NUCLEAR ARMS

01-05-07

nuclear arms

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Your computer is turned on, right? I'm gonna run in the living room and check my Myspace real quick.

01-04-07

post dinner myspace

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ONE NIGHT ONLY We play weird instruments You guys are still into that, right?

01-03-07

new band 2008

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Found a cross over here. Anyone lost a cross lately? Hey guys, any of you lost a cross? Is anyone missing a cross? Cross? Missing a cross? You? Missing a cross.

01-02-07

missing a cross

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Congratulations First Hand-Job

01-01-07

h j greetings

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