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archives (by month): 2012: jan . feb 2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec |
Not a creature was stirring / not even a boob.
Think of it this way, Grady...if you were me, would you want to fly across the world every week and go on adventures, or stay at home playing stupid games with a nine-year-old? Come on.
I thought there were going to be some swarthy men joining me...they'd better start suicide-bombing pretty goddamn soon, or I'm going to go crazy being stuck here in heaven with a bunch of bitches in tubs.
Ha! You want to know what I think about "furry"? Well, it's like this...when I was a kid, I saw someone skydiving on TV, so I started skydiving. I didn't start dressing up like a skydiver and fuckin' other skydivers.
CHEST PAINS? It might have been the 53,940 Fruit Roll-Ups you ate.
Phew! I'm white anglo-saxon protestant'ed out. Let's go home.
I love being on the water, Eddie! I just wish we were in a little more debt. This new boat is great! I just wish I had a face lift and tummy tuck.
Banana? I thought I heard someone say...you? Okay. Just the one? That'll be five cents. Here, hold my cigarette.
Now, take this floss and brush, and make sure you use them three ti...mphh...paaahaha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha! Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. Once a week is fine.
Oh, no! My beautiful hat! HATS UP, HORSE CHICKS DOWN PEACE
Listen, ladies...I'm going to take a pass on this fencing deal. If I'm gonna get stabbed like that, I want free dinner and margaritas. At the very least.
NEVER FORGET The capital of New York is Albany, not New York City.
All right, Fred, you can stop walking. The good news is that you're in perfect health. The only problem area we found was your shorts. We'd like to see you wearing a different kind the next time you see us.
Oh, Ruby! I love this song! Living robot God delusion anti-robot demolition! North American anti-world robot God circumstance! Robot government superpower anti-world satellite! Nuclear God superpower satellite superpower! Living robot God delusion anti-robot demolition. North American anti-world robot God circumstance.
Congratulations on attaining your Master's Degree! Here's an application form for the Renaissance Faire.
Son of a bitch! No package?! I checked it at work, and of course it said "DELIVERED / NEXT TO CAVE." Do you see a goddamn blender anywhere? No? Well, that's why I hired you...see if it's around here on the ocean floor or something. Bbbbllllbbb.
And then...after the user has broken the seal...only then will he see that the formatted capacity is only ninety-three percent of the advertised capacity! Philippe, bring me the drivemaker. Tell him I have...a suggestion.
Listen, kid, you're gonna be propped up on my back for many moons. Quit your crying or I'll strap your ass to the roof like Mitt Romney's dog.
Congratulations! It's a dog!
Oh, thank christ the fire department's here already. These goddamn RealDolls go up like christmas trees if they so much as smell a house fire.
Geoffrey, unless you're a plant from the Board of Education, I'll need you to stay after class for about a half-hour.
My saddle isn't in here, either. How on earth am I going to get to work today?
FOR SALE Price Lowered / Market is Fucked
Young lady! Can you find another place to have bad self-esteem?
One day you'll grow up and get married, too, Heather. That's when you'll discover that you can sip mouthwash all day long, and nobody can tell you've been drinking.
Plants provide the oxygen we breathe. The job of a florist is to cut down and kill plants, because they are pretty.
Yes, unfortunately, it's going to hurt a whole lot. If you'd just wear your shoulder circles more often, like your mom says, we wouldn't have to do this.
If you have books in your house... your kids will eventually find them. Knowledge is danger. Keep books out of your house before it's too late.
"Close your right eye. Do you see double now?" "No, doctor. However, whenever I have both--" "It's as simple as that, Mr. Price. Keep your right eye closed and you'll be fine."
Let's see... neutral wired to hot... and hot wired to neutral. Perfect! The 120v current running on the surface of every metal object in the house should remind the tenants that electricity is dangerous.
Hello, everyone. Your usual pastor is on vacation. I know that technically, a woman isn't allowed to lead a church ceremony, but if it makes any of you more comfortable, I can fuck an altar boy after I'm finished with the sermon.
archives (by month):
2012: jan . feb
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2012: jan . feb
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
