Superpoop: 2014
Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

07-31-06: law of the lamb

Married To The Sea comic: law of the lamb * Text: 

Law of the Lamb


Persuant to 41 USC 559(c), all lambs get cut up and put into gyros. With cucumber-yogurt sauce.

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07-30-06: leg monsters

Married To The Sea comic: leg monsters * Text: 

John, you can take that sheet off your face. There are no monsters in your leg. Just an old bee-hive.

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07-29-06: booty hole

Married To The Sea comic: booty hole * Text: 

You must touch your booty hole every 108 minutes or something bad will happen

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07-28-06: pears in a can

Married To The Sea comic: pears in a can * Text: 

PEARS in a can


You can eat them

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07-27-06: tilt therapy

Married To The Sea comic: tilt therapy * Text: 

You'll have to do this for an hour each day, or else your blood pressure will never come down. But it doesn't have to be me, necessarily, you can put any doctor up on a tilted table and it'll work.

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07-26-06: telegraph chat

Married To The Sea comic: telegraph chat * Text: 

Oh god, I know! My supervisor is such an ass too. He's standing like...four feet away. No, maybe...six geet.


doot doot doo-doot doo doo-doo-doot doo-doot doot-doo doot doot doot

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07-25-06: wrestling angels

Married To The Sea comic: wrestling angels * Text: 

See, I told you guys. When you get a wrestling call make sure to arrive as soon as possible, so you can get there in time to watch a dude get his neck snapped.

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07-24-06: with a horse

Married To The Sea comic: with a horse * Text: 

Say it.


Why? It's not as if it'll mean anything if I do.


Go on! Say it, ass!


Fine. Last night, I did bestiality.


With a horse!


With a horse.

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07-23-06: food survey

Married To The Sea comic: food survey * Text: 

Yeah, well, I mean, if you stopped me on the street, I'd definitely say that I primarily purchase food based on taste rather than value. But, this is my studio, and I didn't invite you here. Was the gate locked?

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07-22-06: ultimate shitter

Married To The Sea comic: ultimate shitter * Text: 

Oh man, really? I, uh, I have a Flickr page too, actually.


Do you! Well, give me your user name! I'll go see your photos.


It's, well. You know, it sounds funny when you say it out loud, but it's ultimateshitter.


Well, then! I'll have a go at your photos, Ultimate Shitter!


I don't, uh...I don't think you want to see them.

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07-21-06: sweet sixteen

Married To The Sea comic: sweet sixteen * Text: 

No! You asses! MY left, YOUR right! Work harder! It must be perfect!


Sigh. My sweet sixteen party is starting to look like a disaster.

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07-20-06: philips chastity helmet

Married To The Sea comic: philips chastity helmet * Text: 

Yes, yes, we see the cutaway, Phillip, we see how it is assembled, very good. However, we do not feel that Phillip's Chastity Helmet is the next great American invention.

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07-19-06: sheng practice

Married To The Sea comic: sheng practice * Text: 

Did you see the last episode of Emperor's Preferred National Reality Show?


Negative, dude. Been practicing the sheng all weekend. Aaaallllllll weekend.

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07-18-06: sphinx

Married To The Sea comic: sphinx * Text: 

Dr. Williamson, phone call from the Sphinx on line 2. He says it's urgent...something about walking on three legs at night.

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07-17-06: monitor and merrimac

Married To The Sea comic: monitor and merrimac * Text: 

Captain! The Union has covered their boat in metal too! What should we do?


Does she appear to have any weaknesses?


Nay, captain. She does have a swimming pool on deck, though. With... ah... well, from here, it looks like a diving board. And a couple of pool noodles.

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07-16-06: loosen your anus

Married To The Sea comic: loosen your anus * Text: 

Loosen Your Anus


For HEALTH Strength and Vitality

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07-15-06: furry

Married To The Sea comic: furry * Text: 

This had better not be like that X-Files where the guy gets his eye pulled out. Jesus. Do you know the one I'm talking about? God. Gross. Just thinking about anything in my eye... ugh.


So... have you ever heard of furry?

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07-14-06: bear prom

Married To The Sea comic: bear prom * Text: 

Do you think they'll let us into prom, bear?


Sure they will. Rarr rar rar rar, lookit me, I live in a subdivision! Rar rarrr rarr rar I'm an Amerrrrrrican.

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07-13-06: fever computer

Married To The Sea comic: fever computer * Text: 

No, it doesn't feel like you've got a fever. And if you did, what do you think we'd do? Send you to the emergency room and tape you to a computer? Do you even know what year this is?

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07-12-06: award winning detective hor

Married To The Sea comic: award winning detective hor * Text: 

AWARD WINNING DETECTIVE HORSE!


Congratulations, Detective Horse! You found that horm we put on your neck last week.

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07-11-06: death bed confessionz

Married To The Sea comic: death bed confessionz * Text: 

Beatrix... before I depart this earth... I must tell you of a great threat! They seem me rolling. Pa... Patrolling... They tryna catch me ridin dertay!

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07-10-06: chickenhead

Married To The Sea comic: chickenhead * Text: 

You! Get over here. Why did you call me a chicken-head? Do you even know what that means? I'll let you google it later, but for now I'll say that it is absolutely not what you call a bird with a man's head.

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07-09-06: arbys

Married To The Sea comic: arbys * Text: 

Yesssssss!! Hey! You guys! Mom got Arby's!!

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07-08-06: butcher

Married To The Sea comic: butcher * Text: 

PHOOOOOOOOOT!!!


Attention all townspeople, this is your butcher. I have just cut up some meat. I have just cut up some meat. Thank you. Butcher.

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07-07-06: pears

Married To The Sea comic: pears * Text: 

PEARS


Oh my god, you guys! Have you ever tried pears?

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07-06-06: better than opium

Married To The Sea comic: better than opium * Text: 

Yes, it is quite the sight, Sally! Those are some beautiful colors. But I don't agree with you that this is better than opium.

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07-05-06: beemaker 2000

Married To The Sea comic: beemaker 2000 * Text: 

Anastasia, I'm sorry, but the answer is no. We just don't feel that the Beemaker 2000 is the next great American invention.

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07-04-06: animal crossing

Married To The Sea comic: animal crossing * Text: 

I wish we were in Animal Crossing right now. I could really use another axe in Animal Crossing.


Oh, you gonna scalp some animals?


Jesus, dude, no. You just use it to cut down trees.


Are you kidding me?


No. It's a peaceful game, you just buy and sell things, and grow fruits and vegetables.


How much would this gun go for in Animal Crossing?


It's... Okay, uh, you gun... um, probably about... a hundred million bells.


YES!!! My gun rules!

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07-03-06: solar plexus

Married To The Sea comic: solar plexus * Text: 

WHO TOOK MY SOLAR PLEXUS?????

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07-02-06: yahoo games

Married To The Sea comic: yahoo games * Text: 

Well, they're opening a new internet cafe in Mumbai. You can do e-mails, the web... play flash games... everything. I mean, yeah, I could have taken a bus there, but that doesn't exactly show my devotion, does it? I love that damn Yahoo Games. For real.

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07-01-06: churn it up

Married To The Sea comic: churn it up * Text: 

What? Wait. You wanted me to do what?


I think you're going to have to do that yourself. Sorry.

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Married To The Sea archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec