archives (by month):

2013: jan . feb . mar . apr . may
2012: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
 

Married To The Sea comic: nature god is pissed * Text: 

Aaaaaaah!! Atmospheric electrical discharges!


Damn...that sounds retarded.


Aaaaaaaaah!! Nature God is pissed!


Hell yeah.
07-31-08

nature god is pissed
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Married To The Sea comic: the gentlemans code * Text: 

My beautiful Minnie, I should love to make you my wife... but the unwritten Gentleman's Code demands that I examine your most secret orifice a week before my formal proposal as such.


It saddens me greatly to be forced to lay tongues upon your treasures, Minnie, but the Code requires it. Were I not a true gentleman through and through, we would be spared this burden entirely.
07-30-08

the gentlemans code
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Married To The Sea comic: stare off into space * Text: 

Okay... are you ready? On the count of three, stare off into space like a lump.
07-29-08

stare off into space
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Married To The Sea comic: how do you talk to an angel * Text: 

Angel! What time is it?


It's twelve o'clock precisely, Father Time!


No... the power went out. All the clocks reset. What time is it actually?


The celestial clock shows it to be exactly midnight, Father Time!


X
XI
XII
I
II
III
IIII
V
07-28-08

how do you talk to an angel
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Married To The Sea comic: patients need nintendo stat * Text:
07-27-08

patients need nintendo stat
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Married To The Sea comic: official energy drink * Text: 

By a unanimous vote, the committee hereby recognizes Ensure as the official energy drink of the Republican Party. The drink provides a complete set of vitamins and minerals, which will assist us in bringing about the apocalypse in 2012, so that we may avoid the difficulties of elderlihood, and be awake to witness the four horsemen bringing the rain of fire down upon the terrible, baby-killing liberal media.


This meeting is adjourned.
07-26-08

official energy drink
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Married To The Sea comic: return from the great voyag * Text: 

We have returned from our great voyage, my king! Many of our men were lost, but I bring you news of the land across the sea... Men and women living together in square dwellings, eating a spiced delicacy made of great, flightless birds.


Did you return with the recipe for this delicacy, explorer? Our people have suffered from bland food since the beginning of time... such a discovery would bring about a new era for us!


My king, this recipe is a highly-guarded secret of the people across the
07-25-08

return from the great voyag
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Married To The Sea comic: home gymnasium * Text: 

Success! I can feel my biceps growing! If only there were  a market for such a strange thing as a
07-24-08

home gymnasium
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Married To The Sea comic: dance of the walrus * Text: 

Okay, Henry. Third position. Flippers together. Henry. Look. Over here, Henry. Third... Henry! Either you're going to learn Khachaturian's Bucket Dance, or you're going back to begging for mollusks in the subway station. Your choice.
07-23-08

dance of the walrus
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Married To The Sea comic: commissioner smalls * Text: 

Here are my papers, Commissioner Smalls.


Commissioner Smalls what?


Commissioner Smalls is the illest.
07-22-08

commissioner smalls
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Married To The Sea comic: need a fish * Text: 

Hey! Horse guy! You need a fish? No? They got those omegas, man. Helps you stay alert, keeps people from throwin' fish at you to knock you off your horse, stuff like that.
07-21-08

need a fish
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Married To The Sea comic: bird a copter * Text: 

Ten thousand feet! I've done it! Finally, man has harnessed the ability of the eagle to soar above the clouds... and all it took was a bird-a-copter and six years of bone-hollowing surgery.
07-20-08

bird a copter
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Married To The Sea comic: at the garage sale * Text: 

Dad, can we keep this hockey stuff? Dad... DAD! Look at me! I'm you, back before you got the depression!
07-19-08

at the garage sale
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Married To The Sea comic: weiner hat * Text: 

Your weiner-hat trick is fantastic! Tell me, between magicians, how you perform this illusion!


There's, us... well... there's just a hole in the top. I stick my finger through and--


Yes! Just like that! You must teach me how to create this Weiner-Hat. I beg of you!
07-18-08

weiner hat
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Married To The Sea comic: go widget * Text: 

Hey, you guys play' Go? I play that shit all the time on Facebook... I gotta little widget thing, just on the desktop, tells me where to go next... never lost a game. Any of you guys need help, just say so and I'll get in there. Super helpful widget.
07-17-08

go widget
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Married To The Sea comic: you wanna help * Text: 

You doin' all right? Just hangin' out? Yeah? Just staring? Awesome. Nothin' helps me plant flowers like a gross, moldy teddy-bear thing staring at me all day. Don't know how I would get anything done without you.
07-16-08

you wanna help
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Married To The Sea comic: dont stab the banjo player * Text: 

Louisa! Don't you stab that poor man! He's deaf! He doesn't know what a banjo sounds like... you leave him be.
07-15-08

dont stab the banjo player
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Married To The Sea comic: wiggly sausages * Text: 

Okay, dudes. See these? The wiggly things? Oh, look what I have down here! Ten little wiggly sausages that are not allowed to touch the ball.


16
6
2
7
07-14-08

wiggly sausages
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Married To The Sea comic: whered you get that fish * Text: 

Hey, where'd you get that fish?


Hey, where'd you get that fish?


Hey, where'd you get that fish?


Hey, where'd you get that fish?


Hey, where'd you get that fish?


Hey, where'd you get that fish?


Hey, where'd you get that fish?


Hey, where'd I get this fish?


Hey, where'd you get that fish?
07-13-08

whered you get that fish
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Married To The Sea comic: cincinnati gasoline burnery * Text: 

All the workers managed to escape unharmed, but the Cincinnati Amalgamated Gasoline Burnery building was a total loss. The owners managed to recover their investment due to a hefty insurance policy; unfortunately, the Cincinnati Wooden Building Insurance Co. folded soon after paying out the claim.
07-12-08

cincinnati gasoline burnery
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Married To The Sea comic: tastes of the swine * Text: 

Tastes of the Portions of the Swine.


Good


Good


Good


Good


Good


Real Good
07-11-08

tastes of the swine
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Married To The Sea comic: cigarette soup * Text: 

I don't know about this cigarette soup... it tastes kinda like chimney water. You finish yours already?


Yeah, it wasn't too bad. A little ashy at the bottom.


Shit, I need another cigarette soup.
07-10-08

cigarette soup
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Married To The Sea comic: what is he even saying * Text: 

Shit, I don't know this one at all... What the hell is he even saying?


youuuuuu


Soulja boy up in OHS! Watch me crankos, watch me roll! Super-mannoh HO!


plink
plink
plink
07-09-08

what is he even saying
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Married To The Sea comic: monticello * Text: 

Welcome to Monticello!


GUESTS: Ring door-bell
HELP: Use side entrance
SLAVES: Hey, what's your name, cutie?
07-08-08

monticello
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Married To The Sea comic: cantaloupes * Text: 

You want some cantaloupes? Well, let me just special-order them on my Blackberry. Tick-a-tack-a-tack. There you go. They'll be here in about three hundred years.
07-07-08

cantaloupes
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Married To The Sea comic: full service pumps * Text: 

Over the past decade, gas stations have phased out
07-06-08

full service pumps
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Married To The Sea comic: sex and the ski lift * Text: 

Look at us, up here in our outfits, having a grand old time... We're just like Sex and the City!


Except we're old and stuck in Missouri.


Except Phil is not a chick.


Except I'm a dude.
07-05-08

sex and the ski lift
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Married To The Sea comic: arthrotashaxl * Text: 

You know, I played well, and my coach was great... but the real winner here is Arthrotashaxl, the Aztec god of Tennis. Tlazohcamati huel miac Arthrotashaxl. Tonight you will be appeased with the blood of my opponent.
07-04-08

arthrotashaxl
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Married To The Sea comic: shootos * Text: 

Oh! Animos! Shootos!


No! Wait! How are we gonna carryos?
07-03-08

shootos
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Married To The Sea comic: time traveler * Text: 

Henry, I must confess a great secret - I am a time traveler, from the year 2008!


Good lord, Thomas... you must tell me of the future? What happens in ten years... twenty... oh, you must describe it!


Eh, it's pretty boring... I'm mostly here to pick up some brass crap to sell to steampunks.
07-02-08

time traveler
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archives (by month):

2013: jan . feb . mar . apr . may
2012: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec