archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
This came out of my titties. Drink it up, Holmes. It smells wonderful.
Hey, we're going on a cruscade. It should only be, like...an hour. You need anything while I'm in Jerusalem? Nah, I think I'm good. See you in a bit.
BULB BULB BULB Although it produced a unique and particularly sonorous timbre, the inventor of the Bulbophon, Chester Chambers of Pittsburg, later disavowed the instrument, claiming he "deeply regretted assembling and playing the Bulbophon."
I mean, I can, if you really want me to that badly. Here. Looks like your cell phone...weighs...less than a pile of grain.
Hello. One two three. By the time you listen to this cylinder, I will be gone. Do not worry about our children, as I have sold them to a man up the road. You always liked this talking machine more than you liked me, so I shall leave you alone with it. Farewell. P.S. What are the big circles on top.
This rules ass. I can't believe that none of us thought to do the marathon on horseback until just this year.
Heh. I ain't running till they invent orthopedic medicine. Fuck a twisted knee. Y'all have a blast.
Local music RUUULESSSSS!!! WOOOOO
Oh, don't worry too much, Emmaline. I'll bet you dollars to dimes that lesbian marriage will be legal by next year. Texas can't make us all ignorant forever, can they?
Here you go. Your very own cross. Keep it clean, and don't defile it, or I'll ruler-sack you till your eyes bleed.
They'll never believe you, Romanticus. How would we ever eat enough figs and olives to keep throwing up? Just because you write it down doesn't make it true. What if they don't have figs and olives in the future? They won't know how nasty this shit is. They'll be like, hey, I bet those olives were awesome. They'll be all looking around for old seeds, trying to grow some olives.
Seein' as this is your first time on board, I'll treat you to a Salty Fisherman. If you've never tried one, this'll be a treat. Hold this glass of rum. That's the fisherman. I'll go into the hold and shake out a sturgeon for the salty.
All right, got everything here...egg...prongs...spoon...grater. The meat...where's the meat? I don't seem to have any - wait, what's Mary cooking? ... Oh. Oh, my lord. I do believe the final challenge is to cook your own foot.
Dear Lord...may your kindness have mercy upon the men fated to work this horrific man-made device, and I beseech thee to ensure that it spares the lives of my countrymen today. Well, thou could kill just one guy, that would be okay. If it pleases thee, I shall make a suggestion. Dennis.
How do you know When a joke has been completely destroyed through repetition? Heh heh. Shockerrrr. A: When the pope thinks it's funny.
There, there, Bradford. You can always have another daughter, and two more sons. Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never accidentally killed all three of your children? Have a piece of hot dog cake.
And to my beloved grandson, I hearby will my shitty old teeth.
L'ESCAROLE POTARD 1898 CrabWine Drink somberly Potard & ons, Montreal, PQ
Oh, so you think you're real funny, huh? Well, listen, buddy. At least I finish my symphonies.
Listen, Harry...are you sure you wanna climb up Buddha? It just seems like a bad idea. People start wars over that kinda stuff. Well, the thing is...Buddha would be cool with it. He'd be like, you know...go ahead and climb up my statue. It's all right. Just be cool. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Don't harm living things, don't steal, no immoral boning, don't lie, don't take drugs, and just be cool.
Fear not, mine beautiful maiden. I shall find you a wi-fi connection anon.
Finally... SHOWER WIHTOUT JOY Send 10 cents to Shoulder Sprinklers, Box 64, Boston, Mass. Include irritating New England accent.
Creationist believe that God hates show tunes. Evolutionists believe that show tunes are a natural way for the sick and feeble-minded to identify each other. Which group is right? A: Both.
Unhand me at once, wastrel! I know nothing of your beef, let alone where you might have left it last.
Faster! Horse, faster! If I don't spread this drug-resistant tuberculosis to at least twenty people by sundown, I'm gonna owe Lucretia twenty bucks.
Secretary, please record the cause of death as "failed to protect neck." Additionally, note that the patient was wrecked, possibly as a result of neglecting to check himself.
And this group I'm in now, it's a seven-piece. We have three keyboard players. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. You guys should come check it out. We play...well...we play at every shitty bar in town, as a matter of fact.
horse Horse. A horse is what stepped on your father, because he was impure of spirit. H... O... R... S... E.
I shouldn't be smoking around turpentine? Seriously? Listen, dude...let's make a deal. You stop coming over and telling me how to paint, and I'll stop laughing every time you get dystentery.
Look! Look at me, I'm washing myself! If this works the way I've planned, I should be able to exchange this skill for a 90th-level online dwarf mage.
archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
