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archives (by month): 2012: jan . feb 2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec |
I can't wait for the industrial revlution. I hate making shit by hand. Dude, have you heard there's going to be an industrial revolution? This is gonna blow.
THE BAKERY FRESH BREAD Dude, why in the Fuck are we deliveing Bread? Shouldn't We be flying around or playing some Harps or something? This is a total Crock.
Always do well in school, or we'll break your fucking thumb. Trad.
Fuck. I'm totally glad I went to college.
Dude, check this out. I'm gonna cause a hurricane in Brazil. Yeah, seriously! All I have to do is flap my wings. Just say like, just tell me, hey, cause a hurricane in Brazil, and I'll just be like, okay, and just flap my wings. And, bam. Brazil. Just, seriously, just say it, and I'll do it.
WHAT THE FUCK IS CALCULUS????
In this book, I keep the souls I have stolen with my daguerrotype machinery.
Do it! Throw it, dude! Atlas! Come on, man! Do it! Come on, dude! Hey, guys, Atlas is being a total pussy. He's not throwing it. COME ON ATLAS! Pussy.
One megaphone of aspirin, and...finished! Would you telephone Mister Thistleberry and let him know his fait-based prescription has been filled.
Fucl! I don't remembr what the Bible says about if you die and a human-tick hybrid comes out of your soul or something! Uh, our heavenly father, bless this hovering human-tick hybrid... um... amen. I think this dude is going to hell. The pope is going to be so mad at me.
DON'T FORNICATE
JOHN ADAMS Our Littlest President
I'm sorry...Did I just hear you tell me to get down from my Boxthrone? You must not know who I am. Remove yourself from my presence before I kick your face off.
LOOK AT THIS THING
Great. Another bumper crop of tobacco. Uh, thanks, Mother Nature, but I was kind of more hoping you would, I don't know... bring me some clothes? Just a thought.
HEY GUYS GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!! POLLUTION TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sled rides: 5 Moustache rides: 10
SAMUEL P. BENJAMIN'S EXTREMELY BORING SONGBOOK. INTERMEDIATE LEVEL. For use in school, church, or any place where fun is prohibited.
We're Going To Die This Winter FAMILY FLOUR WHEAT CORN
she takes it to the hole... the bucket goes in... and... SWISH!! NOTHING BUT WELL WATER
Kangaroo Tendons IN ALCOHOL SIZE....MEDIUM ALLEN HANBURYS LTD Let's see... we have some soda, orange juice, purple stuff... Oh, kangaroo tendons! We have kangaroo tendons too! I'll put the water on to boil.
I will withstand your verbal abuse 10
But I didn't think-- Well, you don't think, and you know what, that's your problem. You don't think.
Ride the Poop Torpedo 6
It was nice to meet you. Here's my business card. Take care. Guy who will stand behind you at the post office and whistle loudly. Telephone 5-2200
THANK GOD FOR CHILD LABOR
BARRELS Use them to store Liquids Solids
Toot-toot! Fire's over here, guys!!
Dude. Eagle. Seriouslly, dude, get off my ball.
No...just leave it, Abraham. That's the squirrel's tiny anvil, now.
Watches, spectacles, clocks, rings, pins, cuff links...These are all the things I pawned to support my laudanum habit.
Would you like another mug of beer? Yes, please! Beer is my sole pleasure as an upright goat-man hybrid.
Oh, christ, tell me I'm not the only bird-based furry here. Is that a shark over there? Dude, shark dude, you don't count. Sharks don't have fur. Idiot.
BILLIARDS TABLE - $39.99 Once in your basement, this billiards table will provide an attractive surface for the folding of laundry, a storage space for boxes and other boxes, and will even provide cover, in your mind, in the case of a tornado or other natural disaster! Table includes automatic ball-return (A perfect place for your cat to vomit and sleep!) and seven pool-cues, which will be used by your children as imaginary weapons when you are not in the room. Also included is a set of flas
what
noooooooooooooooooooo
TATTOO ME ON YOUR SELF
Sorry about the illegal wiretapping
What? You didn't bring bread? Nobody brought any bread at all?! Do you guys not understand that this is going to be the LAST TIME I EVER HAVE DINNER?
Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty
I will dress in the costume of a bear and dance seductively for you. Do you have a rough wooden pole upon which I may gyrate? And do you seek companionship from a bear-dressed man? Respond post-haste to me, and we shall convene. AD #32
Get your picture taken with FUCKING ANGELS!!! ONLY AT: Angel-Based Photography 4 North St., next to Angel-Based Adult Video Rental and Novelty Shop
No, no, no. Baby orchestra, start at section THREE and D.C. al capo. And you! Harp baby! Pull your wig on straight. Have some dignity. This is a baby orchestra.
Excuse me, good sir, but do you know the time? Let me check my watch. It appears to be train time.
Word up bro you holding? Yeah dogg what you need? Some chopped-up dead sheep, mixed with growth hormone.
Here's a hat which will fit you magnificently. What about that hat behind you? Which hat? The giant, glowing, floating hat. That hat is not for sale. Can I try it on? Are you fucking retarded? Yes.
How silly. There will never be a worse president than Warren G. Harding.
Phase Four of Initiation: We all play trumpet onto a biscuit, and make Clarence eat it.
Oh, my gracious! Internet, you have offended my delicate sensibilities!
Here are our raisins, madam. They are raisins of the highest quality from Spain. Those look lovely. They are lovely, madam. May I taste one? No. MUSTARD SUGAR RAISINS 100
Less than a foot 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
archives (by month):
2012: jan . feb
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2012: jan . feb
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
