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archives (by month): 2012: jan . feb 2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec 2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec |
Dennis, the kids love having lobster. Let's do this more often! All right. Kids, you like eatin' whole animals? Yeah? Well, great, because next week we're having cats.
Well, Einstein, if I use something soft on the window, how am I going to be able to scrape?
George W. Bush 43rd President (2000-2008) Presidential Trivia: First and only president to prefer corporate kickbacks to actual, mouth-on-dick blowjobs.
Okay, that should be it! Go inside and see if your fan fiction loads correctly now. I've fixed some of the wires.
Let's see...well, the manual says we're actually not supposed to be unloading our muskets directly into crowds of Iraqis. Huh.
Porn Porn GIF Porn Science Files School Projects Sound files
I'd be glad to take a look at your son. Before we get started, though, can you explain how you two had a child? Which one of you wears the necktie? Or do you both.
This is your boss. I saw you looking at "Married To The Sea" on your work computer. I don't see what an anchor in a vagina has to do with your job. Do you want...You want me to go down to HR and pull your job description? You can point out where it says your job is to look at an anchor in a...you know what, just clean out your desk.
I've got his head stabilized, Doctor. Copy. You keep him there while I hit the reset button. This should remove all of your bad parenting up to this point.
Q: What looks fun and rewarding at 3am on television, but is harmful and boring in real life? A: Getting out of bed
Nurse, are you ready? I'm going to make the first incision. Oh my god...wait...am I left handed? I'm holding the scalpel in my left hand...is this how I usually do it?! Nurse, can I get your opinion? Do you think I should do this one with my left hand...or my right...the left? Ha ha, gotcha! Okay, first incision coming up. Hell yeah. Left handed. That's what I thought.
George! My letter paper is too big to go in this envelope. How do I make it go? It makes me mad! Have you tried folding it? It makes me mad inside my head!
LIFE IN 2050 Hello, this is Sudha, can I have the last two hundred digits of your account number? American customer service representatives will fake sub-continental accents to compete with overseas call centers, and will be assigned fake names like "Rakesh" and "Amit."
You god-damned idiot! It's "Welcome to Rightwing Racist News Network," not "Welcome to Racist Rightwing News Network." Get it right or I'll have Rush Limbaugh eat your ass like you're made out of pills!
Voting day arrived, and the ballots were counted and the figures tallied and double-checked. By a thin margin, a wiremobile station was to be built, rather than an "air port." The wiremobile began running three years later, providing service across the Ohio river to northern Kentucky. Unfortunately, no other major cities constructed wiremobile stations, and in 1911, the Cincinnati Wiremobile Transit System ceased operations.
What a pretty package! It's lovely, Thomas, and of course you can have it back when I die.
HOLY SHIT! Ybe shovh meitb dpz hynowf ibwr yhr I thought these would be labeled
The American Doctors' Council On Health recommends a breakfast with water, salt, chicken dinner, fruits, and blood pressure.
No! Bird! Don't look at us! Look ahead! We'll fall out of the sky! Quit waving! That's distracting him! Just stare straight ahead and flap your arm. Birds are like bloggers...they repeat what they see.
Coffee's ready, hon. Want me to pour you a cup? No thanks. I'll get my own as soon as I'm done grinding this thing.
I don't know how to get out of this square. We're trapped. If only there were a way to imagine ourselves...outside of this square.
Doctor! Am I going to be all right? Well, I'm afraid we're not sure yet. You appear to have over two hundred hard, white structures distributed throughout your entire body.
Well, the main difference between these and other trees is that these are real small, and portable. Some would say that makes them better than other trees...but I would say that makes them way better than other trees.
BILLS keeping you up late? Try drinking.
BULLETINS Jesus, Larry! Larry! Are you jerking off again?! A little. Fuck all of these assholes. I'm going to be the first black president.
The landlord led me into a dark, humid room at the back of his office. "This is my workshop." He flipped the power switch on an old air conditioner, and it started blowing warm air, with a soft hum. Picking up a screwdriver, he began to methodically loosen screws on top of the air conditioner. The humming was terned to flapping...then banging...then to a pervasive, ear-numbing rattle. There. Now I can put this in your window.
I told you I worked for Blackwater, you motherfucking tree! I don't give a fuck! I'll cut off your other tree arm if I want. Uh, your other branch.
You hurry up, now! No-one likes to wait for coal.
the United States of America Home of shit like this
You keep pulling, Jake. I'll keep working on this. It's due in a couple hours. I didn't even get my study hall today, dude, isn't that bullshit?
archives (by month):
2012: jan . feb
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2012: jan . feb
2011: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2010: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2009: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2008: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2007: jan . feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
2006: feb . mar . apr . may . jun . jul . aug . sep . oct . nov . dec
