archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
- - - Final Tabulations - - - (12318) Checks Written At Grocery Store (Slowly): 4 min (31420) Times Paused Unnecessarily At Stoplight: 1 min (976) Items Returned To Store For Bad/No Reason: 12 min (522) Unnecessary Chats With Mailman: 7 min Total Time Wasted: 1602.1333 hrs (66.7556 days) Old Lady Efficiency Rating: 61.2222%
He was an "emu"...they cut themselves, you know.
All right. I'll ring your husband momentarily. Shit, my snowmobile is ringing.
Your baby is completely healthy, Mrs. Jenkins. I'd say you'll be able to get back to your wheelchair ramping in four to six weeks. Until then, your wheelchair-ramping videos will have to do.
Thank God It's Wednesday
Retirement plan? Ha! I'm glad you asked! As a matter of fact, we've been in contact with a gentleman from Africa who is transferring eight million dollars into my bank account as we speak.
Lunch Menu, Week of September 24 Monday: Frito Pie w/ Fritos Tuesday: Sausage Pizza Wednesday: Frito Pizza w/ Fritos Thursday: Salisbury Pizza Friday: Chef's Choice * Hamburgers will not be served
Everyone's going to be obese in thirty years?! Where'd you hear that? It doesn't sound right to me. How could everyone get fat all at once? Anyway. Here's your burger and fries, sir. And ma'am, here's your bacon club, extra bacon, extra mayo.
Quit shittin'!
Heeeeeyyyy! Do you know what AIDS is? No? You don't know? That's all right...hey, listen, I live across the street from here. Do you want to see my apartment?
Stealin' music is easy!
61 Number 61 in the High School Book Series The Locker Chase A Married To The Sea Book ? $2.95 US ? $3.95 Canada Will Janice escape the cold grasp of the lockers...or will she become one of them?
Okay, now down there, the flashy thing...that's the cursor. Press down the keys, no, not like that, you don't have to hit them! Just gently. Yes, there you go. Now type "RT 90". That tells the turtle to turn right, ninety degrees. The turtle is the triangle. What? Why should you learn this? Okay. Listen. One day, all the computers are going to be linked together, and you'll be able to type messages to people all over the world. Penpals? No, it's nothing like...well, okay, it'll be a litt
All right, miss. A hundred ninety pounds. One forty-six, doctor. What? My shoes are twenty pounds each.
Noooo! My only bowling ball!
Globemaster Joined: Mar 23, 1988 2614 posts Yeah, you're gonna want an EduGlobe 30" model, minimum. Anything smaller is just a waste of money. I've got one of those in my living room, for guests (don't want them to wear out my serious globes.) Of course, in my globe room, I've got several larger models, including the EduGlobe 72" and, of course, the Eduglobe 80". If you're serious about globes, the 80" is definitely worth the money. --GM--
I know you want to play. But I have to go to work. You're only going to have to play by yourself for about nine and a half hours, then I'll be back. Well, it's either this, or the hot car. Your choice.
OW MY HEAD Ow! My ear!
INFANT SIGN LANGUAGE "Stop that": Grasp baby's ankles gently in one hand. Slowly lift the ankles until baby is suspended in air. Shake your head disapprovingly while maintaining eye contact.
Thanks, mom! Oh, what can it be? A bracelet? A watch? A necklace? I can't wait to find out. You see, I just found out that I'm now $81,000 in debt to the educational-banking complex. I'm glad to have something pretty before I begin my new life of endless white-collar toil.
You want to appeal your grade? Okay. You have two options. One is to go back in time and write papers that don't blow. The other option involves three hundred bucks.
Photoshop v0.3 PLEASE TURN DISC OVER AND PRESS SPACE BAR
Here's your meal. If there's anythign else you need, let me know. All right. Uh...how about you give my butterfly knife and zippo back?
You're invited! Sean's Fifth Birthday Party is going to be his last! Come celebrate the end of his cuteness with ice cream and cake. Sean's house, 4pm.
I take that Omega-3, man. It keeps me more... Grain farming. Yeah. More grain farming.
Welcome to...Washington, D.C. Over 12 days since last homophobic senator turned out to be gay
TO-DO LIST go get foot out of the thresher.
Hello. I'm calling to inquire about a possible internship with your company. Do you have any intern positions available? Yes, but I'm afraid we just have one position, and it requires that you have a comprehensive knowledge of Transformers, the children's toy. I'll take it! How many of my Transformers should I bring?
Hey, Austin! I like your goldfish. Look at that little guy swim! Ha! Fish are great, aren't they, buddy? Have you ever teabagged a fish, Austin?
Once the corn grows out a touch, you can go around and pull up the weeds you find. But make sure you don't pull up the tall, smelly plants, if you see any of those. They're a sign from God that it's okay to be a farmer, and he will be very, very mad if you take any of them from the ground.
archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
